Weekend Update Rewind…to the House on the Hill

I just read through the last blog and want to erase it from the web and our minds but, it is an accurate portrait of my sometimes wacked mind so (cringe) it stays…but, being the bargainer that I am I’ll offer this rewind in hopes of it making ammends and reminding you (and myself) that there’s a creative mind in here that will resurface at any moment (I swear/hope).

I ended the last blog on a great note (Sailor) who is a bright reminder of how amazing and surprising life can be.  BTW, did you know they make diapers now that have this yellow stripe down the back of em that turns blue when it needs changing?  How brilliant is that??

Anyway…this particular blog was written quite a while back (when Sailor was but a twinkle in her parent’s eyes)…not long after the baby song was written I’m pretty sure.

Here’s a link to it:

Weekend Update from the House on the Hill

a striking resemblence I found online of the porch on the house on the hill that is in my mind...



Weekend Update and the Blatant discovery Of ones Own lack of self promotion

[this was written Thursday night then withheld from posting in case the drugs I was on were not conducive to blog writing…]

Yes…I’m getting back to that moment when Bern looked at me and said “You have a CD?” Now…to be fair she has about as short term of memory as I do and we live quite a ways apart so she wasn’t down here all those weekends we worked on it and I probably was bit shy about telling her much about it I knew she’s not the type to fake a gush over anything (unless its in cheek).  So the question she’d posed to me after listening to it was if we could just get rid of the David song (she was clearly not a fan) and replace it with another and then just redistribute it?  It was a clever question for someone with a shoestring budget but, the question was answered by keenly by the man who recorded Boomerang in the first place Bort…who reminded us that though these sounds were quite new to Bern’s ears…they had passed through ours many many times and so it is better to move forward and onward on this music filled brick road.  She even called me the next afternoon to let me know her friends had listened to it with her that night and were also impressed and so she sees this could all turn out “quite nicely”.  Corkers…

I did contact a resident web designer (who’s a friend of a friend) asking if he had any ideas on how to make the photo slide show and music page act the way I see it in my head…no word back yet…no doubt its a head scratcher but, at least I put that wheel in motion..

What else…I am looking for an open mic to play at while I’m up in Seattle for Thanksgiving weekend.  I see a couple possibilities.  Once I secure one I’ll send an invite out to all my Seattle peeps in hopes they make it out to it (including that girl from the Mtn radio station..y’know…the one I sent a copy of my holiday songs to but, didn’t think to test the CD before sending to make sure it worked…which it didn’t…and she’s their Music Director…and yet she decided to follow me on twitter anyway  Yeah…that one.  Long shot but, I’m in the frame of mind for long shots).

Oh, and I have an appt tomorrow with a camera expert who’s going to help me out with the D7000 so that I can take much better pics at the MLS cup matches coming up here and possibly use it for youtube videos at least 🙂  found a group on craigslist that does music videos on the cheap but, they’re good quality.  If they’re still out and about come spring we’ll record “For All Seasons” and that’ll be our first official music video 🙂

This is my first week not going to open mics…feels kind of strange.  Fish Joint/Hill Street one is on right now and I so wish I was there with a big plate of sushi and a tall hot sake to wash it down with.  For some reason I’ve really  formed an attachement to that whole place and all the people in it.  I’m still plannning to go to Hensley’s next Tues and get some songs recorded but, that’ll be that till Spring and it’ll be good for me.   Chemo tightens up the vocal chords so it sounds weird anyway.  This’ll be a good chance to sift through all the other elements of music biz.  This was my first week back on it and so far so good.  Gained 7 lbs in 2 days.  Wack.  But, they said they lowered the dosage of steroids so I won’t quite grow back into a full back/half back/line backer (whoever’s got the biggest neck) which is a nice relief :-).  This time I gave in and said YES PLEASE to the Ativan. AKA warm blanket pill.  I was such the tough girl last go around and this time I’m like fk this, gimme the warm blanket.  This morning I accidentally mistook it for one of my thyroid pills so I was quite the daydreamy lil happy camper aaaaall daaaaay….or at least 6 hours of it.  I can tell it wore off my about 5 by the tone of my email responses so I turned off the email and turned on the blog :-).

Been brainstorming this week on ways to make ends meet during this last 6 month stretch (and hopefully come up with more to save up for the recordings) and leave it to friends to come up with some of tge better ones…take some of my best photos…put them in flea market frames and get them hung at local shops and restaurants.  If you’d asked me even a year ago if I thought I could get away with that I’dve laughed in your face.  Now I’m like “why the hell not?  If they don’t like em they won’t buy em but, someone’s getting their stuff on the walls so why not me?”

Oh yes…so the dreaded moment from last week.  Last Tuesday when I played at Hensley’s Brad was there and was so proud and giving me the thumbs up that I’ve come such a looong way.  Then Thursday’s open mic at the FJ/HS went really well too and then I dashed off to Escondido to B’s pub where she was having a fundraiser for our friend who was about to compete in a challenged athlete’s race when she encouraged me to get up on stage with my friend Tray (the one in the TCB band) and we played “Melt with you” but, with all the hype of the day and the sake and the beer on arrival I don’t think I was in my right mind and didn’t handle it well.  I just remember Brad looking up at me half sighing like “really…must you?”  as I was going on about the guitar that was handed to me was too big or the strap too long and so we put a chair on stage and even then it seemed a totally foreign concept to play the fkn thing.  I can’t/won’t go into further detail only to say it was clear I was an embarassment and for some reason when I get around Ned, Pauly (who asked me at the end of the song…”why did you sop playing guitar??” which reminded me of our moment on stage months back when I thought I was doing a good job of keeping up and after he asked me if I meant to play f# instead of G….)and Brad I just get nervous and can’t seem to play and sing at the same time and so disaster ensues.  Mabye I should see a hypnotherapist…or do more drugs…that seems to work for so many of them out there oh and like…Bern said her friend doesn’t give compliement lightly…that she’s very picky about her music…like she likes the likes of Adele…and I was like “fk Adele…if I smoked a couple packs of cigs every day (ohhh how I miss those days aka something rears its ugly something) I’d have that raspy voice too and that goes for the other missy who pretends her raspy janis comes naturally” (no rearing, just plain don’t like this one).   Oh dear.  I think it may be time for another vitamin “A” before I find myself the subject of one of those “don’t be haten” episodes…have you seen those?  someone dissin on a celeb on video then gets surprised by a visit from them asking why they be haten on them so much and why don’t they spend a little time together getting to know eachother and stop all da hatin?  and people wonder why I want to do away with cable.  I think I will have a think on all this before posting…

[flash forward to Saturday night…I am hanging at the Santos’…watching my lil buddy watch the Cardinals play rather intently (actually gets annoyed when commercials comes on) typing one handed now as the left is holding her snugly in place and being gently reminded of the much bigger picture by a much smaller package…



Weekend Update and the Need to Breathe…

Am sitting at my friend Bern’s table in a surprisingly quaint neighborhood in L.A., charging up the cameras for tonite’s Sounders game up here and getting to this week’s update.    I’ll jump around on this one…so, Tuesday was the open mic at Hensley’s and I was hoping to get a chance to record some but, Jeremy didn’t bring his laptop so I’m going to stave off complete hybernation and go back there week after next and hopefully get some sounds for you all.  I’ve been having a recurring dream about revamping the website and getting a better photo gallery but, also a wall that looks like about 30 hanging album covers and when you click on them you hear one of my songs and the lyrics pop up on the screen.  Then people can listen to the whole song before clicking on iTunes to buy and we can start adding links to those that have videos that go with the songs comes spring/summer.   Not sure how to make that happen but, with the leisure time I’ll have coming up and the commitment to back off on all the social outings I should be able to figure it out.  M’s friend Sue and her fiance were there and he’s a professional photographer so I tried to get some tips from him but, he’s a “Canon” man.   It’s like Mac vs PC in the world of cameras and I’m a Nikon girl so not much other than the word “valuative”.  I remember him saying to check that on the newer Nikon.  Ok…so I’ll look that up after we’re finished here.  Brad and M showed up and for some reason…maybe it was because I finally went to the doc to have my neck cracked so it could move some…but, my voice just…I don’t know how to describe it but it was in complete control of itself and so I didn’t stress about missing notes at all.  Both said after,  that was my best so far and they saw/heard vast improvements (which I blew Thursday night but, that’s another story).  Sue’s man even said “I should ask for your autograph!” when I got off stage and well of course I’m a sucker for that stuff.  Behind even the most sincere performer is a little dog shaped ego that’s tail goes a waggen like a whirly bird with every pat.  It’s little moments like that you know,  that spur you on and remind you it’s possible your music is worthy of a prime time tv show’s music supervisor’s attention 😉  Oh yes…I have my eye on the prize and am sooo not diverting until it happens~

I’m not sure what day this began but, I started writing another song…another one of those where you find yourself wet faced and snot nosed as you work through the wording.  It wasn’t to anyone in particular but, to particularly the ones who keep encouraging me to sing but, know I struggle with it.  I keep hearing this woman calling up to the stage “sing like you laugh” the night JD and I tried to revive the original version of Boomerang and that was in the forefront of my mind when I was writing this song.  It’s called “This Thing” and it’s about the thing that holds us back from doing what we want…whether its illness or phobia or what have you…this thing hit home big time for me…”this thing…weighs me down….wraps itself around me pulling me deep underground”.  Not a sing like you laugh kind of song but, sing out what you wish you could say to make others understand.  I sang it at the FJ open mic on Thursday and as I did I wondered if it was too much for an open mic but, I felt compelled to let it out even though I hadn’t quite memorized it yet because I’m determined that was my last open mic there til this stupidmuthrking treatment is over.    It’s just too weird feeling like I don’t look or act like me and trying to make friends with these fellow musicians and open mic goers who don’t see me as I know me is at times really frustrating.   Like one woman (who I think is way cool) who’s a regular at the open mic I frequent, came up as she was leaving to comment on my new hair color and how “it makes you look younger” and I so wanted to say “yeah, this fkng thing aged me quite a bit this last year and there’s more aging to come” and then I realized I’m being a whiny ass and I let it go.  I know it frustrates Jen and Bern (who’ve lost important people in their lives to the “C”) when I go on like that.   I love you both and I’m sorry for this crappy compulsion.  I think I do it to avoid the reality of just how scary it all .  Like when you have a near miss of hitting a deer and you say “stupid deer…I coulda killed the thing”  when the truth is if you’d hit it you’d be the one singing with the angels…still, I’ll try to keep that crap in check and focus more on the more positive aspects of it all.

Wait, where was I…oh right Wednesday night~  KPRI was giving away free tickets to see NeedToBreathe and as we all know…my dream is to sing a duet with Bear and every time I see them I feel like a battery that’s just been supercharged.  This time was the most interesting because my brain was in hyper aware mode and I seemed to pick up on every band member’s vibe and learned some damned important lessons.  First…”those who carry a professional camera will be treated like a professional photographer”.  The deck of the boat was packed by the time we got up there and being short there was no chance I’d see the band up close so I started taking pics of the crowd and then before you know it they were parting way for me to get through and I was up front just a few feet in front of Bear and as I was clicking away…eye in the tunnel visioner…I saw expressions on their faces to whatever he’d say and realized…these guyz are spent.  At one point he talked about their new CD and how they spent so much time together that they didn’t like eachother much after but, they were liking eachother a bit more now and my mouth nearly shouted “yeah…you need to settle down and get married” but, I caught myself and thought WTF? Where did that thought come from?  M and I talked about the show later and she saw the same thing.  I’ve never actually been in a band so, I can’t attest to how difficult it is to keep the respect and balance in place but, I do read people and I saw something was way off kilter.   I was psyched when he said since the boat was still moving they’d still keep singing until afterward when I realized the cause and effect it had as we were waiting at the SWAG table…freshly paid for CD’s in hand and 3 of the 5 band mates were nowhere to be seen…the keyboard player and drummer came out and we chatted with em briefly.  They were the toughest to photograph that night because they looked so bored.  I knew it wasn’t the crowd.  They/we were ultra warm/welcoming…it was clear the spirit that made me go mad for them was missing.  Oh the sound was tight as ever.  If you closed your eyes you could hear it but, open em and you see a rather soulessness.  Then, at the last minute Bear and his brother showed up and just as we were within a couple feet of them the ship’s crew approached us and rather heavy handidly informed us it was time to vacate the boat.  Now, if you don’t know M then you’ve yet to witness this thing that happens when she feels jipped…her brown eyes get big as bullseyes until you’d swear they’re about to pop out of her head and she says out of the side of her mouth “well, that’s just buuuuuulshit”.  Now, one of the great things about NeedtoBreathe is that they make themselves available  to chat and sign stuff after their shows.  If they get any bigger they won’t be able to do that and I’ve been to some venues where they don’t but, everyone who goes on these KRPI boats expects the artists to make themselves approachable after the music ends and before the boat docks.  I don’t mean this to write out as a critique of the band itself but, more a warning to myself (and any other musician that might be listening).  Do it as long as it’s fun and has meaning.    We talked more about it further and agreed “he’s hungry for the band to go further up the scale and the rest of the guys seem content with where they’re at (if not ready to jump ship and head for the peace of life on land) so, my prediction for the season its that’s their last group album because at this point Bear is feeling held back and feeling the NeedtoBreathe on his own.  He doesn’t seem anywhere near ready for a life on land so that’s that.  If this prediction comes true I’m so going to point back to this day/blog and say Haaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I TOLd you guyz~  Since I was little I always loved the guessing game.  It’s my own special quirk I guess.  Can’t predict anything to do with myself but, I think I’m pretty spot on when it comes to others.  M’s actually better at it than me in many cases.  Probably another reason we’re such tight friends.  The Yin/Yan of people readers.  Well I am just all over the map now aren’t I…it’s cuz Tuesday is closing in and all the stress that goes into it.  Once we get back into that mode I’ll be more focused and can’t wait to share.

So, next update will be about Thursday night which was my last sushi meal/open mic at FJ/HS for the season and leap up on stage at a local fundraiser (where Brad retracts Tuesday’s pat on the back and rightly so).  I’m still cringing…

Oh right and the pic of the old Captain on the fb page…omg I wish I had a video cam in my eye for moments like this.  I missed his appearance because I was in line getting drinks but, apparently he was meant to sit at another table but, he stubbornly refused and sat at the pretty ladie’s table.  At some point I noticed he was watching me and he shouted across the big round table at me something about me and my camera and something about him brought out the cheek in me so we bantered back and forth as he went on about the Titanic, hoping this ship wasn’t called the Titanic and how the Captain of the Titanic could have avoided whole crash by following his advice (which seemed pretty damn smart) so, when he left (his family came up cringing and insisted he join them) I saluted him and said “aye aye Captain my Captain” and he looked back like he was going to verbally smack me but decided to give me a nod and a wink instead.   Can I just tell you that little moments  like these…these are the things bring life to a whole new “thank god I’m still here to enjoy this” level.

I promise, I will make all this waiting and following worth your while and by this time next year there will be a full length CD recorded and my website will have all those cool little features I described and “For All Seasons” will have a properly made video for all to see.  There we go, there it is in black and white and oddly enough it doesn’t freak me one bit.  It actually feels good to have a list of positive things to strive for and focus on.   That and the upcoming “OMG I soooo TOLD you Guyz” moment.

Side Note…I’m telling Bern how I’m proofing my blog and how disjointed it sounds and she’s like “you have a blog?  what’s that for now (think small town Irish accent)?”  “Really??  Seriously???”  She’s on her iphone trying to lookup and download my songs and not having much luck with the technology when I realized I had one last Boomerang CD in my bag and voila…I am sitting with a friend of over a decade listening to a CD I made 2 years ago and talking about a blog I’ve been writing nearly weekly for the past two years.  And she knows nearly everyone on the CD…and because of that recommended we cut out one and replace it with the song about Berndadette that she apparently just discovered existed (oh why would I ever think the sun would always shiiiine) I need to work on that whole self promotion thing…

So, there’s a question for you…but, I’ll post it on the facebook music page…

Thanks again for following along…according to Bern (who’s rubbing her hands together and now scheming on my behalf) there is a lot more to come…

Seth's response to "hey, if the boat keeps moving we can keep on singing right?"

Weekend Update and the revival of the Jam Session…

So, I told you last week I’d talk about last Thursday’s open mic at the Fish Joint/Hill Street cafe.  I just love it there and knowing sushi will soon be off my list of food options shortly I wish they had open mic there every freaken day~  But, they don’t so I’ll settle for enjoying this and possibly the next one.

I decided to stop taking stupid risks and this round I’m going to go into hibernation.  Meaning…listen to Dr. H and the nurses (wouldn’t that be a cool name for a band?) and pay attention to the fact that while you’re being chemo-ed you are at risk of catching just about anything (I remember saying to him last year “so what if I catch a cold”…”so you’d end up in the hospital that’s what’s so”  “Ohhhh”) so stay away from germy places…that means airplanes (with the exception of Thanksgiving…I’m not going to miss my sister’s great feast), bars, gyms and apparently I have a habit of putting a pen in my teeth which is a huuuuuge NoNo.  So, if I won’t be playing open mics what will I be doing??

Well, let’s go backwards for a sec here.  Tuesday night this week I played open Mic at Hensley’s which went pretty well.  They’re a tough crowd.  Most people talk through it with the occasional smile and nod from someone at the bar and sometimes people (loud people) will shift up to the part of the bar closer to the stage about when I go on but, again…they talk their way through it all for the most part.  Then, afterward a couple of them will either gaze in my direction and smile all dopey like or someone will come up as they’re walking past and pat my arm and say they liked my sound.  For some reason I equate talking through my music to not digging my music but, I seem to have that all wrong (or at least for some).   I paid closer attention that night to how I behave when people I like go on stage and I realized that I do talk through it as well.  I stop here and there and say “oh I like that part” or just as they’re starting “oh, this is my favorite of his/hers/theirs” but, I’ll still chat with my friends through it all.  After all, it’s not a concert and even then…like at the House of Blues when we went to see Amos Lee…pretty much the whole crowd talked through his whole damned performance which was more an example of pure drunken obnoxiousness and even he was like “So, you’ll be talking pretty much through this whole concert I see…”.  Even when his notable crowd favorite came on…there we LOUD Shhhhhhhhhh’s coming from throughout the crowd which bought him about 20 seconds of undivided attention.  It made me wonder if there is a division in our minds of singers/performers.  Those we use as background music when we commute to work, clean house or go jogging and those we dress up, reserve a seat and sit and soak in as if it were a riveting film with some familiar turns and some unexpected plot twists.   I think back to seeing James Taylor perform when I worked at the Houston Symphony and how I hung on his every word and ignored anyone who tried to speak to me during unless it was to say how awesome it was to be there in his midst.  Ok, that’s a bit much but wasn’t too far from the truth…

Then I thought about which type of performer do I want to be…and I came up with…I want to be the one who paints pictures of stories with music and film.  I want to be the music in the background of a film that draws the audience into the emotion of the scene.  Monster Boy totally hit the nail on the head when he donned be “Invisible Girl” because that’s when I’m my happiest.  Being the voice, not the face.  My friend once joked recently that he had “a face for radio” (which is a bold faced lie.  He must know he’s handsome and just raised to be ridiculously modest…ok a hair cut would be nice but, his face…a handsome man’s face) and it got me to thinking that people maybe say that because they just prefer to stand behind of instead of in front a the camera or the crowd.  I totally get that.  I want that.  I want people to humm my tune whenever they think of the film it was in.  Like whenever I think of one of my favorite films “The Matchmaker”…”I wanna be haunted by the ghost…I wanna be haunted by the ghost” runs through my mind or “Practical Magic” makes me think “you put de lime in de coconut” and “This Kiss this Kiiiiiiis, unstoppable”.  It would be nice if it’s my voice singing it but, if someone like Faith Hill wants to come along and make one of my songs famous…who am I to say no, thanks??  I don’t dream of playing a venue like House of Blues where there’s a dance floor and a ton of booze flowing or any concert where you play sets and go off and come back.  I dream of that old theatre and sharing the stage with other musicians and story tellers and creating a moment where time slows to a near halt and people walk out of that theatre saying…It’s 9:30 already??  Where did those 2 hours go?  It felt like 20 minutes.  And not in the way they feel ripped off but, like after you meet up with a friend you haven’t seen in a long time and they’ve got buckets of interesting stories to tell and after hugs and goodbyes, you leaving it thinking it’s much earlier than it is.  For that dream to come true, I don’t have to push myself to or wait until my body goes back to normal after this next round of chemo.  I can find ways to record my songs and take the ones that are already recorded and I can focus on pushing those out onto every fk’n music Supervisor I can find and radio station that will listen until someone says “Yup, we’ll take it”.  Thinking about it…there’s that Nick Drake song “Pink Moon” that I’ve loved for years and years and only finally looked up what he looked like a couple years back.  Same thing with Death Cab for Cutie.  I went nuts for their music when I first heard it.  Had no interest in seeing what they looked like.  At the time I worked with a girl who’s husband was their manager.  She wanted to hook me up with one of the band members because I had a ‘My little Pony” in my office and he apparently had a favorite pair of  jeans that had “my little pony” on them but, when she found out Myyy little Pony was  a little joke from my boss who in negotiations for a raise said “anything else you want your highness?”  and I said “yes…and a pony”, she realized it probably wasn’t the kind of cosmic match she’d first envisioned.  I fkn hate my little pony (but, I looooved my old boss).  If you love your daughter/neice etc.  Don’t get them one of these.  Let them meet and brush a real horse’s mane.   So, what does that have to do with this week’s update?  Nuthin. Whut…ur not used to my tagents by now…?  Now, what does that have to do with it is…Jeremy (who runs the Hensley’s open mic) came up to me after my set and said he’s been playing around with recording the sounds and it turns out it’s been sounding really good.  He wanted to let me know in case I wanted to have some and he’d even make them into MP3’s for me…So…at the very least…I’m going to ad some to the facebook page so you’ll get to hear them and if they work for it then I’ll include them in the demo CD’s I’ll be sending off to the radio stations and Music Supervisors.  Pretty cool eh, eh?

Which brings us to last Thursday’s open mic…I invited a new friend Tray to bring his band out to it.  I hadn’t heard them before but, they call themselves “TCB” (The Cover Band) and hadn’t a clue if they were good or what.  I had agreed to sit with my friend B inside the fishjoint this time (she has her favorite spot and it’s not out in the courtyard, we know and accept this) so I didn’t get to do my usual mingling beforehand but, got a txt that he’d arrived earlier than expected with some friends and that…they weren’t allowed to play because they’re a cover band.  Whu?  Whu??  JD tried to explain it to me but, I was still in (I can’t believe I have to go back into gddamfhrfkn chemo) brat mode and wasn’t taking rejection of any kind well (Sorry JD for being a punk).  I was second to last and Tom (who’s  a great guitarist and the one who invited me to join him on stage at a fundraiser recently but, I chickened out) closed out the night after me.   Tray stuck around to listen to me play and then I told him to stick around to hear Tom play and then I saw his friends had come and brought a fiddle and an accordion and his band mate had an accordion as well and voila…the mystery of history repeating kicked in and I pulled some chairs together, demanded all take a seat (I can be so bossy when I get in that mode), handed Tom my guitar and we proceeded to do what I’ve sorely missed this past year…we jammed.  Tray and his peeps played first and Tom asked us if we’d heard of TCB cuz they reminded him of them…we thought he was joking at first but, he wasn’t~  Turns out he’s a big fan but, didn’t quite recognize them in the faint light).  Then Tom’s buddy showed up and helped me to encourage Tom to play one of his originals and so it went for a good while before it was time to let the restaurants’ staff turn off the patio lights and go home.  Part of me wanted to run home and come back with a bunch of  the battery op big candles to keep it going.  Another part wished I was in a bigger place so I could’ve invited everyone round but, it was just the right amount of time and frankly alcohol consumed for tomorrow’s a school day (as my mom would say, because every day is full of life’s lessons).

Would the same kind of session happen again tonite?  Who knows.  Possibly not.  Part of me wants it to and part of me wants to keep last week’s in a nice little bubble on the keepsakes shelf in my world and not try to top it.  Oh yeah and JD?  That’s another goal I have and plan to use my hibernation time wisely…I’m going to research wedding singers in the area…and work on a marketing package for that while putting money away each month for that portable sound system you showed me.  I think we should corner the market for SD weddings (and private events) next summer~  Just think of the brilliant vacation you could take the missus on in the fall or better yet…get that booking in Mexico…see…this is what I’m talking about.  Playing the music isn’t enough anymore…you gotta wade through the paperwork…

Back to Tuesday night…as we were walking out of Hensley’s this duo I like (was on stage so we waited until their song finished) gave me  a shout out and I thought damn…that’s way cool because I think you two fk’n rock.  Ask me their name…yup.  I gotta work on that but, hey…I do remember the song I like is about throwing a penny in the wishing well~ Aaaand I did remember to take their pic :-).  They kind of have a modern day Everly Brothers feel to em.  Putting my flip cam in the guitar case and will try to get a snipet of them next time I run into them.

In the meantime…thanks as always for following along and another goal is 1,000 fans on facebook by New Year’s Day.  So, please pass it on~


Weekend Update and the 6 more months of Winter…

“Now is the winter of our discontent”…that’s the phrase that’s been going off in my head for the past couple days.  It started when I was sitting in Dr. H’s office going over the results of my first post-chemo scan and he asks me how I am and I shrug my shoulders and smile leadingly and say “I’m not sure…how am I?”.  The scan was clean :).  So, what’s with the winter?  He proceeded to go on about our next “round” of maintenance chemo.  WTF??  Whoa…wait just one second mister…I move my hands along the curve of my neck “I have a neck now…I’m finally starting to look and feel normal again and you expect me to go back in there??”   I didn’t cry but, I came close to it and he followed up with his reasoning for how this would vastly improve my chances blah blah blah as he scooted his stool farther away from me with each statement…6 more months…he swears its a lighter dose…I stare…he says its far better to do this now than a year or two down the…I stare…he says I can go back on medical leave and not work for the next six months…I lean in as I picture myself spending time writing, taking photos…recording the latest and learning how to edit video that we’ll take for the song…which scarf we’d use in it…and say “Well…I do miss the nurses…” and so there you have it.  At least I know my body will make its way back to normal again and during this break I met some great musicians and think I made some really long lasting connections.  It didn’t stop me from whining my way through the last couple days but, what are you gonna do.

Last Thursday I made my way back down to Pacific Beach and the Open Mic at the Black Pearl.  Was so great to see Jesse again and my good friend Jen joined me there.  I don’t see her much while she’s working her way through Nursing school so it was awesome to see her.  Jesse plays guitar really really well and offered to play one together so we did Babylon which is one of our favorites but, I can only strum it.  He plays the hell out of em.  It was my first chance to play the new song too.  Surprisingly it got a lukewarm response.  Then again, the Black Pearl isn’t exactly a love song kind of place but, the song has such deep meaning to me I thought it would radiate but, no.  Hrmmmmm.  Maybe the song doesn’t have universal appeal I thought it would.  Maybe it’s designed to appeal to only a select few.  Hrmmm. I’ll let you all be the judge as soon as we can get it recorded.   I don’t know but, by the time we left I was ready to accept whatever fate was in store for that song.  Then Jen suggested before we part ways we stop at the beach down the road from my old place and “Stick our feet in the sand” and I smiled…maybe it won’t be a hit but, one little part of that song stuck in her head after just one listen and so…I smiled and we went to one of my favorite little spots of my old neighborhood doing one of my favorite things and talking about anything and nothing much with one of my favorite people and thinking back on it…if a few more months of stupid chemo means I get to enjoy more moments like this over a lifetime then alright, ok by me.

What else?  I answered an ad on craigslist for what I thought was an opportunity to have my music played on the local morning show but, I got a generic response from someone who’s website isn’t in existence and they use a hotmail account so I’m like hrmmmmm.  I sent a note to the television station so I should hear back whether it’s legit.  My guess is no but, hey…at least I put myself (my music) out there.

Last night was open mic at the Fish Joint/Hill Street.  A lot going on there.  Worth a blog in itself so I’ll save and leave you with this…think of someone you haven’t seen in a while.  No bad reason but,  that time just got away from you both.  Find em.  Even if it’s just for an hour…spend it with them and re-connect.  It’s an amazing feeling.   I’m thinking now about all my school mates who are planning to meet up in Seattle when I’m up there for Thanksgiving weekend.  Some of them I haven’t seen in 20 odd years and with my chemo brain I’m afraid I’ll draw a blank when I see them but, I’m sure I’ll walk away from that get together thinking along the same lines as my evening in PB.  I just love having something to look forward to and if this Thursday is any indication of what’s around the corner then just call me lead foot  :-).

Til then…go on…go make that call or email or txt to only you know who~