Weekend Update and the Skipping Ahead…

Friday…Friday was another magic lesson with Moppet.  I can’t believe that someone half my age (well, it feels like it) has so much to teach me.  It’s shockingly cool.  I feel like I’m 12 sitting across from him (and I probably act like it too).  And I nearly punched him in the arm when he came up with an additional chord to throw into New Years day.  I just love how gets it and effortlessly.  I told him at the end of the lesson that the brat in me wishes he would just play this stuff for me all the time so I shouldn’t have to take forever learning it.   He just gave me that look…you know the one that says “your charm is starting to wear off”.  So, I smiled and gracefully exited with a “I’m just sayin…”.  Friday we worked on tempo.  A hard one for me for sure.  He’s constantly reigning me in for suddenly speeding up then slowing down but, he gave me some great tips on how to keep it consistant.  On Dear Santa is was about using the thumb as the anchor.  Thumb strums on beat 1 every time.   As usual, I walked away feeling smarter, cooler and ready to take on the world.  Of course by end of day when I’m at home trying to repeat all the cool moves I learned I fail miserably and vowed to find a guitarist who totally gets my music and  just wants to sit there any play this stuff all day.  I can be incredibly childish and lazy I tell you and I know full well he doesn’t exist but, a girl likes to dream…

The whole getting sick thing before I was able to record CD II.  It so sounds like some lifetime movie of the week thing doesn’t it?  Will she survive to record it?  Will the treatments have a detrimental effect on her lungs and she’ll never be able to sing again (or at least, not like before)…will she ever learn to play in tempo?  Or will she give in, give up and crawl back into obscurity… such a cliffhanger and I can’t get my hands on the script to tell you I swear.  I can only say I”m being very very nice to writers just in case that helps~

Today’s my orientation for treatment where I get to find out just how it all works and how sucky I’m going to feel.  Brad just txtd asking how I felt.  I feel fine.  I have a nice glow about me right now.  I’m sure its a combo of removing the tumor and quitting smoking that I have radiant skin again to match my outlook.   I’m a little anxious about what’s coming up and I’m supposed to avoid stressers but some are unavoidable a this point and that just pisses me off.  Y’know what the worst part is?  I found yesterday I can’t eat sushi…not now…not during and not for a good while after.  That could be 6 months…or more~  WTF.  WTF people.  That’s just plain not cool.  At least my beloved mimosas are still on the menu (though my sister would say sternly that I should be avoiding them).  I say live like you’ve got a year left and then tell me what you’ll avoid.  I’m not avoiding Jack-all unless Dr. H. tells me to…him, I adore and respect so what he says goes…plus he agreed to the goal of cured by Spring so we can keep this latest scheduled date for CD II.  A girl’s gotta have something to look forward to~ 

Ok, enough of that talk.  The weekend was a blur.  I know I practiced.  I know I found the framed copyright of the Boomerang CD on the ground behind the TV with the glass front shatter and left it there for later…I know I’ve got one more lesson with Moppet before recording the holiday songs…I know I might be playing an open mic tomorrow (I hope so) and I know my brain keeps skipping ahead like how a scratched CD skips a track.  It’s kind of funny when it happens.  Would it happen on stage?  I dunno but, if it did I think I’d laugh.  Will let you know.

No word back on the Mountain Stage Song Contest.  Then again,  I didn’t bother to look to see when the deadline is.  I just like the idea that the “Baby” song is out there with its latest verse and being heard by someone out there…and speaking of that, I’ll be seeing those two this weekend.  Anne n I will be sipping mimosas and looking out at the beach n sea while Serg plays his favorite game of baseball down the road.

I heard from Jesse last night.  The one who runs the open mic on Thursdays and is as big a fan of James Taylor as I am?  He’s way cool and paid me a great compliment by asking me to learn “Smiling Face” already so we can do it together at open mic.  I want to be there tonite but, I need to catch up on work hours.  It’s only fair.  Oh and I found out yesterday I started CH therapy next Wednesday.  So many things running through my head…it better not ruin Saturday because I wasn’t expecting to start until “mid” October and I’m all set to record then.  Plus after that our favorite couple is throwing an engagement luau and I just pressed my grass skirt~  That and I already made plans to meet Keen at next Thursday’s open mic.  I don’t like to disappoint and I don’t like to be disappointed.  You know what, you’re right.  Let’s just cross those bridges when we get to em shall we?  Right.  Oh fk…I forgot to tell Bort I can’t be around smoke (did I tell you we got to smoke in his studio?  I just thought that was the coolest thing ever and the first time I’d smoked indoors in eons~).  What with the thing with my left lung now (yeah I know…I sound like an old clunker of a car).  HEY BORT~  (he’s right over there)…Do you mind?  I’m not waging any war on tobacco or running any anti-smoking campaigns.  I just been disqualified from the game and not allowed on the field anymore…I know.  I’m just as bummed about it.  You know what else sucks??  Apparently I can’t have anything grapefruit~  Yeah, WTF people…WTF.  If you been here any length of time then you know my passion, no downright love affair with grapefruit mimosas.  No sushi, no grapefruit for anywhere from 3-9 months.  I must’ve committed some terrible crime in another life to deserve this.  Seriously…really?

Ok, enough whining.  Tonite I work.  Then I simulwatch gray’s with my peeps.  What’s “simulwatch”?  That’s when you watch a show the same time as your friend(s) but are not in the same place.  Then you txt eachother during commercials and say things like “no way, I cannot believe he did it”, “Christina’s mah girrrrl” or “bullllfking shit…no waaaaaaaaay” (these are actual txts I’ve lifted from my phone).  My friend Joe is deeply offended that I’ve “fallen” for this “lame” show.  To this I say (with love of course) “Fk off Joe.  I bought you (cuz it was so on your list) an R2D2 unit for your bday so you don’t get to shout me out on facebook tellin me what’s cool and what’s not”.  I probably shouldn’t have posted that but, what the hell.  He’s from detroit and I’ve got “C” so neither of us really are the kinds to beat around the bush these days.

Skipping ahead…there’s been a lot of that in my brain lately.  I have these lucid dreams of life in the year to come and after that.  Maybe its wishful thinking but, I’m guessing its my woman’s intuition kicking in.  I don’t like to say too much  because I think it either jinxes or can change.  I just like to shout “Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii kneeeeeeeeeeeew it~” when it happens 🙂  The fact that no one has tangible proof that I new a year before is not so much a problem as you’d think~

It is pouring rain.  Finally~  I mean I moved to SoCal because my brain/body need extra doses of sunshine to thrive but, I’ve been sweating head to toe for the past few days from the heat/humidity.  We don’t have A/C here.  We’re by the beach and that’s an unnecessary expense for 358 days out of the year but, man oh man those 6 days…oy.  I like the occasional rain.  It brings my mind back to Seattle, where I grew up.  Alot of my music comes from that place in my mind.  The grey areas.  And yes, that’s another reason I watch Grays’ Anatomy every week.  It feels like a piece of home.  Not just because it’s supposedly based in Seattle and once in a blue they actually show footage of the city but, because my mom was a nurse and she and my sister all worked at the same hospital and my bff Miche…the one I wrote By New Years Day for?  We met at that hospital.  Well, we actually met in the parking lot of our apartments and found out we lived 3 feet from each other’s doors months and never knew.  We always just talked on the phone at work “Hi…it’s Michelle from admitting…got another one for you”  “Oh…happy birthday to me…whatcha got?”.  You know what else?  We had the same year/make/model cars and didn’t know it.  Hers was red and mine was black.  That’s about where the similarities end but, we have been best friends from that day on.  We’ve nearly killed each other many times but, just like in Boomerang, we always found our way back.  She likes to say “A best friend doesn’t just know where the bodies are buried, they helped you dig”.  I know…sometimes she comes across a little scary on paper but, then you see these huge blue eyes and porcelain skin and you think she couldn’t harm a flea.  Yeah…anyway…where was I…tomorrow is the last lesson with Moppet before recording.  I’m psyched.  Then lunch with Jen.  I’m psyched.  She’s studying to be a nurse so its’ the same kind of comfort as when I’d talked to my mom.  Matter of fact about all kinds of stuff that turns other people’s stomachs.  I just love that for some reason. 

Ok, I’ve rambled on enough.  If you don’t mind doing a “fingers crossed” for me next week.  Together we might just create this awesome invisi-shield that protects my body from being thrashed and I can go on with the looong awaited recording of these two songs and make open mic.  I promise to take pics if I do.  Oh and I probably shouldn’t do this as he is a quiet type that has resisted the guiles of facebook and prefers to live a life of anonymity but, I want to share this pic taken last week of myself n Charles (the one who designed the Boomerang on the CD) because a: after going on about being sick and the docs and the “C” and the “CH” I want you to see how well and ready I look to face the challenge and b: because he’s an awesome artist (and friend) who should never hesitate when someone says “what do you do” to say “why I’m an artist”  not what he does to pay the rent (which is good work but, it does not define him nearly as well as “artist” does).  So, if you ever run into him on the street (well, don’t mention  I posted this fer fkssake) just say….”hey, aren’t you that artist?  Charles…something…right, where are you showing?  I’d love to see more of your work~).  Now that, is just what the doctor ordered 😉

Thanks as always for listening and special thanks to you, all you newcomeers that came to the website and to read the blog this month.  Biggest turnout yet and a world of countries.  Really warmed my heart.  Will post the list tomorrow on the facebook music page 🙂

Weekend Update and the Retracing of Steps…

I have been staring at this screen for a while now…trying hard to recollect what happened last weekend and how to update you…I read the previous post hoping it would give me some clues and then I started scrolling through my phone for clues as well and saw one from my neighbor Daniel then instant flash to big warm hug and I was back in Friday evening just coming back from taking the garbage out and there he was getting ready to head out for the evening.  He always pops up at just the right moment.  We made a pact that he’d be with me on my first bike ride back (or however you say that when you’re not allowed to ride for a while and then you ride again for the first time in a long while).  The 12 year old in me just looooves hanging out with him.  He’s so…calming and can instantly and easily fix all things I don’t have the patience for figuring out and we both looooove food and can talk about it for hours on end like it was the best film you ever saw.  So, after our pact I got a big warm hug from him and went back in and practiced some songs before calling it an early night.  Y’know I’m not sure that I even miss having the energy to go out all night like he and his friends did.  I think I like being a home body.  Its very zen.  Saturday was more practice and packing for Sunday.  Because I had doctor’s appts M-W and W (today) is my birthday I couldn’t handle the friends having to drive all the way down to pick me up then take me to the doc then back again?  And who likes going to doc appts anyway especially the week of their bday so I said screw it and found an awesome deal on a vacation rental near the docs and checked in Sunday around noon.  The peeps streamed in throughout the day and  we bbq’d and did mimosas and had this awesome strawberry whip cream cake from the French Bakery in the Village (I loooove that place and I’ve been eating cake every night since~).  Maybe it’s the french/french-canadian heritage but all seems right with the world if I have a french bakery cake for my bday.   I don’t know about you but, from the time I turned 30 I decided that bday celebrations should last at least a week and its up to you when you start.  I have several friends with bdays right around mine to so, there’s also the double celebrations that go on…which is usually followed by a week of near fasting and downing jugs of water to make up for it all.  All worth it, I assure you.   No one was pleased with any of the photos from Sunday.  Most of em came out a bit blury.  So I’m gonna post a blury one so no one complains 😉  I’d be like “what…you can’t even tell its you so what’s the worry??”  So-Calians…they’re gorgeous and they don’t even see it~ 

During the days here I’m working remotely.  Got lucky and got approval to work remotely until the doc clears me to drive again.  I saw Dr. J (who’m by now you all know I have a huuuuge crush on and I don’t care who knows it) yesterday and when I left I was bandage free and had a return to work slip for October 4th 🙂  This afternoon is the appt with Dr H to go over the CH plan.  Not as daunting as you might think.  Dr J went over the report from the lymph nodes they tested after surgery and I got an all clear.  This…is a big deal.  My mom did not.  And so she went through a rough year of CH and all the side effects that come with and some side effects lasted for years n years.  I (being super human as I reminded Dr. J when he gasped at first seeing me saying how great I looked – do you see why the crush ?? 😉  can handle whatever comes and will so as if its just a bug I’m flicking off the table.  Some people find this disturbing and worry that I’m not “Dealing” with it.  I say…I can freak out and you can all freak out or we can treat it with indifference.  Either way…the treatment is the same…the end results won’t change so why would anyone in their right mind not want to wake up in a good mood?  Am I missing something here??  I think not and even if I am, I’m quite content where I am in my head and will gladly stay here for the duration.

Keen…if you’re reading this…you and Dan rock (even though you pretty much volunteered Dan and he may not take kindly to it ;).  I told you I booked the studio right?  I did.  With Bort (who engineered the Boomerang CD).  We had a pact to do the two holiday songs when I was well enough and I decided that by Saturday, October 9th I will be.  Not sure my guitar playing will be up to snuff even after Moppet ohhhhh right~  I had my first lesson back with Moppet last Thursday 🙂  It was awesome to see him and Alan and we went over ‘By New Year’s Day’ and he came up with some cool ideas for the recording.  Kind of sounds I could hear Keen playing.  It’s funny how that happens where I’ll hear or envision a particular person playing something.  Keen totally has the kind of spirit that aligns with those songs.  Dan too.  He’s more inwardly so but, if you look for it you can see it on the surface.  Ok, I gush about them too much I know.  I’ll stop.  for now…

Being in this vacation rental is great.  I admit my studio (apt) is slightly thin walled so I hold back playing and singing when I’m there.  Here I don’t know anyone and the place is 10 times the size so I can get lost in it.  Sunday night I played the two songs for Brenda.  There were more around the table (including my nephew Ian who’s an actor (very talented I must say) who drove down from LA – looove him) but, she hadn’t heard them and wanted her in particular to hear em. Michele was at the table and you know her favorite is ‘By New Year’s Day’ which I wrote for the Michelle in Seattle (BFF).  Then on fkn ‘Dear Santa’  I could hear Bren getting choked up so I got choked up and nearly lost it.  I think I even shouted up at her at one point to knock it off.  We all have our brave faces on but, alot has passed over last year.  Some pretty painful stuff and every now and then there’s a crack in the wall.  Luckily we both pulled eachother out of it (because there’ll be no tears at my parties dammit) and after that I handed the guitar back to Ned and asked him to play more.  I think he just tolerates me.  I am pretty obnoxious when it comes to hearing him play.  A bit of a bulldog for some reason I’ve yet to understand.  This guy has been playing since he was a kid.  His parents used to own a hotel and he and his brothers were the house band so he can play just about anything with just about anyone but, that aside he has a unique voice and plays n sings with great depth.  Its like he goes off somewhere and isn’t even concsious that we’re around him.  If you ever get to see him play you’ll see what I mean.  He’s brilliant.  Hands down.  And when you put a Mandolin in his hand…holy crp~  That’s all I can say.

Back to the music.  So, I have another lesson with Moppet on Friday.  We’re going to talk about tempo so I’m ready next Saturday when Bort asks “what’s the tempo?”  I don’t say “I dunno…I just strum it and it’s whatever that is”.  You hear that Bort?  I’m actually going to be prepared this time~  Working on playing with a Metronome for the studio work.  and oh, did I tell you this news???  John and Amy Shipe are moving back-ish…this time to Los Angeles~  John just finished recording a CD with his good friend Ehren Ebbage and Ehren and his wife are moving to LA so they are too.  I am soooo psyched and of course am now pushing myself even further because my goal is to play well enough to join John on stage for a song.  I don’t care what song or when just want it to happen.  He’s one of my favorite mentors and if it wasn’t for him I know I wouldn’t have known to write half of those songs.  He definitely inspires me.  And of course he’s totally supportive which freaks me out and makes me psyched at the same time.  Speaking of that…I’d better get practicing~

Here are a couple pics from the weekend and definitely will have some from the studio on the 9th and maybe a video clip too so stay tuned and as always…thanks for listening~


PS…(I love how something comes up just after I post my updates)…ok…so this mantra has been running in my mind the last few days…”I wonder who #80 will be” as in the 80th fan to join the facebook music page right?  And so I went to look at the page today and there were 80 fans…cool…then you click on see all and the latest one to join is at the top and….omg so cool…it was Erin, Abby’s mom~  Abby is this adorable little girl of hers that inspired me to write a song for her last summer.  I think it’s on the website but, it was so dark around the bonfire that you couldn’t see me at all.  We recorded it for posterity since they were moving to the east coast.  But, the song will be on CD II and I just sent her a note letting her know 🙂  Today…is a great day.


me n Charles (the friend/artist who drew the Bommerang for last year's CD)

faces masked to protect their secret identities but, don't the smiles just tell it all 🙂

View from the vacation rental balcony…eyup…do I know how to compensate or what?

Ned playing 'Happy Birthday' see...this is why you shouldn't go cheap when you buy a camera~

Weekend Update and the Evolving of Baby…

This has been a great weekend back.  Most of it I kept quiet.  Lungs aren’t quite back up to speed.  I spread out my practices by 3 songs at a time, practiced the hell outta Dear Santa and By New Years Day and then…I booked the studio/engineer.  Saturday, October 8th.  That’s the day we’ll record them.  Or at least get most of it done.  More organized but, less energy so any one’s guess how long it’ll take.  It just feels good to have a date locked down.

So, as I said in the last report…there’s an update to the Baby song…Serg n Anne went on vacation to the Bahamas and came back engaged~  Oh my god I get Verklempt even typing it.  It’s really great news and inspired an additional verse to the Baby song (just came right outta me).  I haven’t played it for anyone yet.  I can barely play it myself without getting choked up.  I’m sucha mush.  However, I did take the home recorder and taped it and then…I got this email notifying me that Monday was the deadline to submit my song to a songwriters’ competition in NY…so I edited, Mp3’d it and sent it off to the competition.  Yes, I did.  I have no idea when they choose a winner.  It works better for me not to know details but,  to just put it out there and see what comes back.

I also finally got my sht together and sat down and did all the stuff you gotta do to get songs copywritten and got both Dear Santa and By New Years Day sorted.  That’s all but, 2 of the songs I’ve written submitted now for copyright…ohhh look at me doing grown up people stuff 😉

As I opened the cupboard yesterday to reach for a wine glass (for my long awaited Mimosa) I saw they’d been move to the 2nd shelf from the top (aka out of reach).  I love my sister.  I really do.  I do.  Yup.   After saying that a few times I looked around the shelves within reach and saw the 16 oz slim ale glasses and smiled…do you do that…where you have a specific type of glass you feel compelled to use for a specific beverage?  I do for the most part but, yesterday I got over it and poured the biggest mthrf’n Mimosa of my life and thoroughly enjoyed it 🙂  In case you’re wondering no…I’m not mixing alcohol with heavy drugs.  The fancy pills they gave me had zero effect on me.  Tylenol it seems is the key to my survival.  How brilliant is that?  Never been a big fan of drugs.  I like thinking as clearly as my intricately wired brain will let me~

What else…working out the chords on the new song…it keeps coming to the forefront then fading back.  I guess it’ll fully surface when its meant to.

I think the only other thing on the list is to get back to the lessons with Moppet…maybe this week?  The store just opened…maybe I should call em now?  Ok.  I will.  It’ll be another thing to add to next week’s report “Ali’s first lesson back”.   Man I”m psyched.  I’m also psyched for this coming weekend.  Going to celebrate my bday with my friends up north.  Rooftop dining, bbq and beach walking…and music…of course music.  Will post pics of that one for sure.

Til then…thanks for listening and stay tuned~

Oh, I knew I forgot something~   Remember when I went to that songwriters’ competition at Humphrey’s and told you about Samantha who played keyboard and offered to help me with the acapela song?  Well she called the other day~  She’d been moving around and is now settled in and found my info and is ready to work on music together.  Finally, “Calling” is going to get the attention it needs~  Told Keen (who I met at the same event/evening) and he’s psyched as well.  Not ready to go back to Aussie pub just yet but hopefully within a couple weeks and we’ll invite her to join in 🙂

Just keep swimming…just keep swimming…


Weekend Update and the return from the house on the hill…

Yeah, next time I’m about to do something my mind can’t deal with I’m not going to throw in my favorite getaway and turn it into a Hotel California kind of scene.  Sort of dampers the visionment of the house on the hill.

So, I went there on Thursday and I was joined by several amazing guests…Holly who apologized profusely as she missed vein after vein (not her fault.  I have crap veins…always have) I put my practice recorder on and ear plugs in at one point and just started humming…again won’t do that in future…am afraid to push play on the damn thing now  but, it did spark the conversation which led me telling my story with a dozen other ears on beds or milling about listening in and she was like “oh just sing for us right here”….what is this Glee?  LOL.  She was very endearing though.  Dr. J strolled in and he does this thing that just makes you melt.  He hold out his hand not to shake yours but, up to hold it (as most women prefer I swear on a stack).  Anyway, he walked me through it all and I went over some surprise “possible” this and possible “that’s that showed on the consent I signed with a nurse a couple days back.  He listened and showed even more patience than usual and looked me straight in the eye and said “we will take good care of you” and I said “I know.  That’s why I’m here” and with a pat he was off.  Holly was back and we chatted away as she packed my ton of crap into bags and labeledthem (yes, my favorite pillow and laptop) I told her how I did hold off some by leaving my stuffed tiger at home (though I was beginning to regret it.  It has high high high sentimental value (which I’ll tell you about another day).  I met a nice nurse who said “we’re ready for ya” and just as she put her gripped on the bed I remembered “wait wait…Holly I got something for ya…and asked her to hand me my bag and pulled out the last of the printed boomerang CD’s (the last in my possession that is) and she smiled and thanks me as they wheeled me out of there and into this extremely bright room where Dr. B. (oh right, the anesthesiologist who was brilliantly handsome and charming and…wait, what?) right…he was there and saying things “wow…I don’t know who you know but, you must know someone high up…you got the best anesthesiologist, the best nurse and I piped up “and the best surgeon”.  They all smiled and I remember the last thing I said was “Hey you guyz don’t forget we won’t be doing “that” today.  Even though I signed it on the consent whatever happens, don’t let “that” happen.  I felt a warm squeeze on my head and  before I knew it I was walking up and just like in the movies seeing the lights overhead as they were rolling me into my semi (as in there was a winey person in the bed next to me) room.  She was gone the next afternoon and I enjoyed a peaceful and quiet room for days after.  I felt like royalty, I really did.  The best moment was the next day I opened my eyes and one point just as Holly walked into the room.  I was buzzed beyond belief but, I remember…I could sense someone was about to walk into the room and there she was…with an adorable little teddy bear in her hands.  She sensed my regret and wanted me to feel less alone.  She also knew I’d banned pretty much everyone from coming to visit me which I still can’t decide whether it was the right thing or not.  I’ve always been this way though.  If I’m sick I just want to go curl up somewhere and shut down until I’m better.  I don’t heal as fast if I’m chatting which is nearly impossible for me not to do when others are around. 

My sister arrived on Saturday night.  Nat n Bren picked her up and filled her in on life here and then dropped her off to see me and pick up my car (I insisted on driving myself to the hospital…I know…I have no idea where I get this from…).  Then she came back the next morning and I can’t remember if she saw Dr. J or not but, on one of the days when he came in I said “my sister has some questions so she’ll be strolling in just after you…sure and sure enough….one of those inexplicable mysteries of life…she arrived at the perfect moment.  Every day/night I met the most endearing people.  I don’t know if I ever told you this but, my mom was a nurse for 20-ish years and had me working at her hospital.  My sister did too so we have that kind of an inside perspective.  I felt they were treating me like a endeared work mate.  It was really cool.

Sounds so great so what’s the hotel cali part?  That it was Tuesday already and parts of my body weren’t waking like they should. I was feeling just fine and if I had to stay longer so be it (though my sister was leaving on Thursday morning so I was torn) so, Dr. J decided it was the pain killers that were impeding my progress and cut them in half then half of half all in one day.  I thought I was going to go balisitic.  I won’t go into details but, it was a day I was very glad not to be seen.  It was also unfortuanely the same day I gained another roommate.  Lovely older woman with a patch full of kids and kids’ kids and all visiting at once and with only barely there curtains to separate us there went my privacy and my lovely dream state.  Nice people but, looking back that is why I’m glad I asked everyone NOT to visit and if you’re the kind that does…remember just because the person in the bed next to you is quiet doesn’t mean they’re not suffering so pipe down over there~

My sister busted me out of there yesterday afternoon. I was watching out the guest area window and watched her glide in on the trooper and was impressed with how well she was working it (it is NOT easy to drive I tell ya). 

Ok, enough talk on that front…So, to Holly, Dr. B, Dr. J, Jett, Othello, Olivia, Arthur, Monica, Seth and all those who’s names I can’t remember cuz my brain is shaken not stirred oh and that lovely woman who came running after me “oh misssssyyyy” and put a reversed hospital gown across my backside as I roamed the halls in a drug enduces state (I swear I felt no draft) I thank you from the bottom of my heart and the middle of my newly (“hand sewn”) gut section (omg the man is so adorable).  I’ll be listing on CD II’s acknowledgements and will be making sure to hand deliver one to my dearest Dr. J.

All the way home I had the pillow strapped in with me and my head out the window like an ole condo dog on a Sunday drive.  After we got all settled and Rx’s filled and swallowed she worked her magic in the kitchen while Daniel stopped by and setup the DVD player to which he was rewarded with vitaimin water and a promise of a serving of her famous soup.  I was sooo looking forward to it~  I don’t know what it is about Matzah ball soup.  I mean, I was raised pretty traditionl catholic.  If we were sick we got campbells chicken soup or soda n crackers (at my side).  My sister married a Jew.  A Jersey Jew.  A real honest to goodness Mench and she chose to adopt some of their customs (and some of the tastiest customs ever I might add 😉 and last night I was the recipient of the magic healing powers of Matzah Ball soup.  Not just any Matzah Ball soup but, made by my big sister.  Nothing and I mean nothing…not even the tenderest filet mignon and a bottle of the smoothest Sangiovese on the planet and while we’re at it throw in a baked potato with the works and some grilled mushrooms no, asparagus can compare (don’t believe me ask Daniel who showed up with a giant gladware bowl to get his lion’s share) and as I hugged her goodbye this morning I reminded her of it.  When I talked to Michele earlier this evening (Shan met her and Carrie as well) she told me that my sister confided she felt assured knowing I had such a great support system.  She was still clearly needed (of course) but, genuinely relieved to have met them.

Now, on to the music.  Got a new song coming and it’s springing up from the last week’s adventure.  Got a nice beat, nice feel and reminder not to take it all too seriously.  Can’t get around much and talking wears me out so I just practiced a couple songs tonite…baby…this time around and dear santa then the new one started coming so I worked on it until I hiccuped which between that, a cough or a sneeze means run and hug that pillow and then say oy from running but, still worth it to stave off the implosion (by god I should’ve been a cartoonist).

This weekend is about resting, practicing big time (especially the holiday songs), working on the new song and planning out my birthday and when my next lesson will be with Moppet :-).

Oh and Shannon would’ve met Anne n Serg but, they were in the Bahamas where….yup…they got engaged~ New lyrics added to the “Baby” song you say?  Why yes…I do believe that is happening as we speak 😉  As Moppet said…no song is ever completely finished…it grows and evolves right along with us.  Man, I am so looking forward to picking up lessons again…

Wow…that was a long one.  Sorry bout that~

Happier and healthier updates to come so stay tuned, pass it on and thanks as always for listening~


PS: Side note on the Sis thing…as I opened the snack cupboard last night I found the empty top shelf (that I can’t reach) now had items on it (she got the height and the exotic looks) and I had a flashback to when I was a little girl standing in our kitchen and asking Shan for a glass of milk and she reached for a cup and I shouted (in the whiney kid wants it now kind of way) “Noooooo I want it in a glaaaaaaass”  and so she quietly put the cup back and pulled out  a glass and held it up high in front of me and said “If you can reach the glass, you can have milk in it”.  She’s still holding the glass to this day I see and right now I’m glad it’s in her hands…

Weekend Update and the miraculous mind…


It is NOT Thursday.  I actually got this earlier than last week~  Of course, if I didn’t get it today then who knows when I’d get a chance to next.  Yup, tomorrow I head off to the “house on the hill” (hospital) for the rest and rejuvenation (major surgery) and spend some quality time with my new friends (Dr J and his team). I’ll be sleeping for a couple days (till my sister comes and wakes me to the reality, cuz that’s what big sisters do).  I’m really wondering if I’ll remember anything I dream and if anything important will come from it.  My guess is yes.  My sister asked me today if I felt “nervous or anxious”.  Nope.  not one bit.  My gut (pardon the pun) just keeps saying I feel like like a dark shadow is about to lift and I’ll feel ten times freer when I leave there.  I think Dr. J thinks I’m a wacko delusional who thinks she coming in for cosmetic surgery.   I guess living in So Cal, he doesn’t get why I’m not horrified by this larger than life scar I’ll be left with as a memento which will totally ruin any thoughts of bikini shots for the next CD.   Meh.  Last time I wore a bikini I was like 12.  Just never been my style.  Though I might just wear one next summer in Shira warrior style proudly showing off my scar and telling kids tales of horror “yeah well…you shoulda seen the beast with its huuuuge fangs and claws a foot long”.

Music…I did make it to the Open Mic at the Aussie pub last Thursday and was so happy to see Keen and his whole band and peeps were there (and pissed I forgot my camera).  I totally forgot Jesse had learned the James Taylor song “Smiling Face” so we made a pact that the next time I was there (knowing full well I wouldn’t be for weeks and weeks) I’d sing it with him.  I’d love to.  Only thing is his key and my key are waaaay different like not even in the same neighborhood so not sure how that will work but, I’m sure we will.   I wasn’t sure if I wanted to play at all.  To tell you the truth I just wanted to see them all and hear them play but Jesse called me up first and up I went.  I did a sht job of connecting with the people in the room other than Keen.  I looked him straight in the eye a couple times.  I was just not quite there.  In full denial mode of where I was headed I think had taken its toll that night.  I was so out of it that after it all, I drove home…got my jams on when it hit me “sht…I left Martin and Kala there!”  Badd…..baaaaad…txtd Keen who gladly took them under his wing.  Phew~

They came round the next night (Dan and Keen).  I walked out to the street to see Dan carrying Martin like a wandering minstrel.  lol.  They crack me up.  We talked for a bit which led to “ok, just a couple songs” and got them to come in and hang and play.  Not long cuz they parked where they shouldn’t and you can’t push your luck on that around her or pay the tow man.  As they were leaving Dan mentioned they were heading back to the pub for some grub.  I love that.  I love when you’re at the point in a new friendship where that’s all that needs to be said.  And so, I was on my bike within moments and rode off to pub to get some grub with my pals.  As much as I loooooooooooooove their Aussie Burger I didn’t have room for it after all the comfort food stuffing I’ve been doing.  So, I just went for my ole time standby chicken n strips (with honey mustard of course) and a Guinness.   Was cool.

It’s funny all the things that have been running in my head and how spectacular the mind is and can take you places you psyche needs you to go.  What if I don’t wake up?  Do I have everything in order?  Pretty much.  Closest family/friends have my passwords and know my mind.  The worst would be not being able to record the CD, to see Ireland and miss out on Italy.  There’s more but, those are the top three that have been popping  into my head right these days.  But, they’re copy written and they’ll go to the people they’re meant to go to if that came and they’d make something of them.  Not just let them sit on the shelf and gather dust.   That’s why I wrote them…

Ok, enough of that talk.  So, when I skip ahead to the next few weeks I keep envisioning a lighter me.  Inside and out.  And there’s a part of me that’s still high (the Lisa Simpson in me) from the validation that I was right and those previous docs with their fancy degrees were wrooooooooooooong.  No, it doesn’t bother me that I didn’t finish college.  What would ever make you think that…

So…the next time you hear from me…I will be free of that insidious thing, on the mend and back on my way to CD II…

As I’m writing this I’ve got my headphones on and listening to Jango…Alexi Murdoch started off the blog…Brandi Carlisle….James Taylor…Bare Naked Ladies…Snow Patrol…and here is Alexi…taken us out with “Orange Sky”…man I gotta meet that guy.  I just want Martin to be in his hands and hear him make him sound the way he soooo can.  One day….maybe that will be what I dream about tomorrow…

Ok, off I go.  Until the next time…thanks so much for fueling my fire and for continuing to listen~