Took the morning off and what a great idea that was~ Oh if only I could do half day Mondays every week~
But, that time is almost up so I’d better get to it.
This weekend was good in many ways. I’ve been really frustrated with the lack of progress on the guitar. Great teacher and he’s really hitting the sounds as I hear them in my head but, they don’t sound right when I play them. Like they’re not me or not meant for me. Like when you try on a jacket of someone else’s that you really like and then discover you don’t like it on you. That’s what its been feeling like. And yet, I know I have to keep an open mind about this because the road I was on wasn’t any better. Lots of similar chords, lots of similar rhythms. Each song is a story. I guess in a sense these are chapters so there is the common thread. Wait, not chapters but, short stories in succession. Ha, like star wars. Three stories in sequence and then 3 from long before.
Anyway. I was feeling restless and yet calm if that makes any sense. Restless to see results and calm (thanks to the happy drug that makes me want to vom whenever I look at or smell a cig). I needed a change to happen. So, I got in the the car and drove and ended up at Ikea. New couch? My studio was crammed with furniture but, it was furniture that looked good on someone else, not for me. Plus, it bothers me that I didn’t have something comfortable for friends when they stay over. I loaded my cart with all kinds of things that I was sure would make the difference I was looking for. After getting over the shock at the register (do we ever mean to spend that much??) I not so gracefully lugged my cart outside and thought…how will I get this to my car and in my car? the box for the couch frame was twice as tall and wide as me. Let’s not forget all the other apparently necessary crap. I heard a couple guys talking behind me then they sped up and turned to me with concerned look on their faces “do you have anyone to help you with those?” Ah crap. I realized then that I’d done it again. Bought more than I could carry and hadn’t thought it through. They took over and I went with it and thought “I don’t care how it looks or what it does for feminism. I love to see Chivalry is alive and well and lugging heavy crap into my car”.
Don’t ask me how I got it out and into the studio. You wouldn’t believe me. I don’t believe me. But, I did and I drug the other two couches that needed to go by the door. Put a notice in at work to see if anyone wanted them free and got a response within minutes. By 9pm last night they were out of my space and my space suddenly seemed less cluttered and more open and welcoming. Even Ray (who adopted the couches and promised them a good home) came back in when it was done and said “Wow…now I feel welcome here” and I knew by the look on his face that a paradigm shift had just happened in my world. The hermit was opening the windows and pulling back the shades.
The next step was to watch someone perform on stage. So, we headed out to the spot my guitar teacher plays on Sunday nights and saw his band for the first time. They are funny and quirky and really good. It totally put me at ease to see them perform. It made me look a bit more forward to the third Open Mic.
Oh crap, there’s more I want to say but, I don’t want to be late for work. I’ll write more tonite~
Sorry ’bout that. I meant to come back last night but, was mending a fence and then I was so glad it was finally mended that I forgot about just about everything else. I’m learning…
So, where was I? I saw a posting for musicians wanted to perform at a local cafe. So…I applied. I have no idea if I could pull that off but, felt like I needed a push and it seemed to be calling out to me. I was on craigslist looking for musicians to practice with when I saw it and what stood out was “Orginal songs only” and I laughed because usually it’s the other way around and I struggle playing others’ music so, I took it as a sign and went for it. I’ll let you know if I hear anything back.
Last night I played better than I have all month. Relentless I was. Didn’t care who heard or how it sounded, just played and got lost in it. I played Polly’s song after months of not touching it. Hers was the first song I wrote when I started all this. got choked up in the middle of it. Damn dog.
Puffin asked if I’d come to Bath to play one day. Highlander asked if I’d come to Scotland and last night I decided yes. Next year that’ll be my goal (besides the fact I’ve been to both places and would looove to return). Travel is good. Oh, what a change of scenery can do for a soul…
Ok, enough daydreaming. Better get back to the trenches.
Thanks as always for listening~