Last weekend was spent working the day job trying to meet some serious deadlines. I practiced some but, didn’t get much accomplished music wise. Honestly, after the open mic I didn’t pick up the guitar for 3 days which is the longest I’ve gone since I first started taking lessons 15 months ago. I know a lot of people don’t get it and that’s ok. I don’t know where the anxiety comes from. I know you can’t always see it on the surface but, it’s there and it’s exhausting.
I really doubted if I could ever stand on stage and just focus on the music and not get distracted by everything else. Then I was talking to a friend about a band I saw recently “Burning Men”. They’re local to San Diego. They have an extraordinarily unique sound. Check em out. I mentioned how photogenic the lead is. She’s seen him several times and said the thing she loves most is he/they get so caught up in the music and it just draws you in. I decided then to see them live again and this time really pay attention. See if my intuition kicks in and I can pick up on how to feel the music and not worry about imperfections.
I wrote a song last week that’s acapella. It’s beautiful. It’s beautiful in my head. At least 4 voices in it. The best part is I can picture me hanging out with my dad at the piano and having him help me sort out the chords. I took lessons for a while when I was younger but, he knows em by heart. I’m booking my ticket this week to go visit him in Seattle. Can hardly wait to see him but, more so to share this music with him. The piano we’ll be sitting at is exactly one and the same as the one in the pic below. That’s me and my brother Eddy way back in the day watching our dad play.
This week…learn a couple new chords and working on a cover song by another cool band…”Guster”. They’re out Boston. The song is “Either Way”. Brilliant~
And it was as painful as I expected (holy crap). But, it’s late and I gotta get up early so I’ll post the video and pics on my lunch break tomorrow along with the whole sordid tale~
Oh holy crap. It was as bad as I thought. I got so cold my fingers froze and shook and kept missing strings. I don’t kn ow what shook more, my voice or my fingers. Really cool place though. A new coffee shop in Oceanside, CA called “2 spoons” (check em out on facebook). Cool vibe there and they have internet so I was tempted to report to you all from right there while I was waiting my turn.
I was 5th to go up and though it doesn’t look it from the pick there were about 12 people sitting around me (including Brad, Carrie and Michele) when I looked up from the first song. I played Piece of Cake then 24 then Baby. By the time I got to Baby I was a bit more relaxed but, then the song itself just melts my shoulders and puts me in a good space. Carrie made a great comment about the last verse. True, you can just hear Sergio saying it (except the “quintessential”…yes…we know dude. It’s called “artistic license”) caught some of it on Video and I put it on youtube. Will link it here as well as just posted more pics on the Facebook Fan Page.
I kept it on the DL and only told a couple friends up there about it. Thinking back maybe some’ll be miffed about it but, then again…they should know me by now and that I don’t exclude my friends without well intentioned reasoning, rather because I know my limitations and I was trying to test the waters of playing for people I didn’t know. Otherwise it’s just like when we sat around germet’s place and played and I’ve pretty much lost the nervousness to sing in that kind of environment.
This was a big step and yet disappointing because I really hoped I wouldn’t choke or that at least I’d choke a little less than I did. The songs mean something and I want that to be more powerful than the nerves that cause the stifling anxiety.
Well, back at it is I’m sure the answer. So, next I’ll look for an open mic closer to my work area. For my NC (north county), my goal will be to get through enough that I can hop up on stage one night when we’re out and sing em proud. Yup. That’s where I’m headed now~
Well, actually back to work. That lunch break flew~