Weekend Report and random thoughts…

“It’s just music, isn’t it?”.  That question was posed to me yesterday when I said I was a bit shy about the project and it really got me thinking…(the question came from a good place as if to tell me not to worry) am I supposed to feel that way?  Do most musician’s feel that way?   Because I feel more these songs are a legacy of some sort.  Writing that just now it sounds kind of arrogant but, it’s not how I mean it.   My mom, wanted to be remembered so she made quilts for all her kids and their kids.  That was her way.  I want to be remembered, especially by my nieces and nephews and I like to picture them sitting around with their kids one day listening to these songs and saying “this was your great aunt.  You can tell who she was just by listening to her songs”.  I want to connect to people in far off places and discover which of these thoughts/images we all  have in common.

It feels like a lot more than music and maybe that’s why I’m so intent on it being the right people and the right timing on recording this project.  These are messages that will last as long as iTunes or the Cd’s do so why not make a big deal about it?

I woke from what I thought was a dream last night.  A playback of an ugly time.  Me shouting and not really being heard.  A time that I thought of when I wrote “No”.  The irony is…it was coming from the neighboring apartment.  Same words, same emotion, someone else living it.  I was upset at first and put the pillow over my head and then I kept one ear open in case help was needed.  Then, when it was clear it was under control I said to myself  “you go girl” and drifted off back to sleep.  Why do we bother to shout when we know we won’t be heard?  Maybe we’re shouting at ourselves to listen.  That’s the impression I got early this morning when I woke to the conversation through the walls…you know this one…the call to the best friend bravely re-telling the story only this time you sound strong and defiant “and then I said…that’s right…totally…I know!”.    That was probably one of the most difficult songs I’ve written.  Not the chords but, digging up those old memories and putting them out there for the world to hear.   The best part is once it was recorded, most of the anger and frustration was gone.  As if it was burned into the CD.  I think that’s the most profound thing about writing music.  It gives you a chance to un-stuff stuff that you’ve crammed into the back recesses of yourself and sitting there, festering over time does no good.  Writing a song about it somehow releases you from the weight of it.   Or on the plus side, the baby song…whenever I sing it I feel very hopeful and reminded that there is someone out there for everyone.  Just be yourself, do your thing and keep your eyes and heart open.  Never enter into love blindly.  You’ll end up with bruises from bumping into walls and never decide to love someone just from what you see because some things (that count the most) are invisible to the eye.

Yesterday, I did some cleanup on my old laptop and finally came across the photos from the recording of Boomerang (I thought I’d lost) and put them on the Facebook fanpage (before I forgot where they were again).  Was kind of odd but, good to relive that day through those images.  A funny thing though, I kept trying to upload one in particular because it’s the funniest moment of that day but, the program kept crashing every time (she must have a guardian angel).  So, I’ll tell it here ;).   I was out in the main area and most of the group had gone after the David song (which everyone sang on at the end and infamous Sergio aka “Cowbell” aka “96” played cowbell on) and so we settle in and I put the headphones on and I’m singing away to something and Bort is giving the thumbs up and through the headphones we hear loud as thunder a “flushing” sound.  We all bust out laughing and then after what seemed like forever Michele walks out of the bathroom which is adjoined to that main room.  OMG.  I laughed so hard and had the camera ready to catch her unwitting expression “What…what??”.   So, no…couldn’t get it on there but oh…just remembered you all don’t know who’s who so I’ll go back to the album and add notes after I publish this.

While I’m on “random thoughts” mode I’ll put this one out there.  So, there’s a daddy long leggs spider that’s been camping out in my bathroom this past week.  My first instinct is to grab a tissue, squash em and toss em but, when I was housemates with Nat I learned that she is of the strong opinion that spiders should be let be (at least the household kind) and had asked me to refrain from killing but, scoop them up and send them outside if I must.  So, last night I looked right at him and said “look…out of respect for Nat I’ve not squashed you but, I gotta tell you that I’m not cool with you living in my bathroom.  So hang out tonite but, if I see you tomorrow we’re gonna have words, capiche?”.  This morning I came in, brushed my hair and looked over in the corner and he was gone.  Just packed up and left.  Is the occurrence random?  I don’t know but, I thought it was worth mentioning…

I decided on a guitar teacher but, you have to pay for a month in advance so…next payday.  This one is about rent/bills (and possibly toes).  I also decided to do my first open mic.  It’ll happen by the next weekend update.  Not sure where yet (have three different places/dates in mind) and don’t want to jinx it but, yup.  It’s time.

I owe it to you all to give a more substantial progress report next time other than baby steps.  I’m sure something will pop into my head this week but, for sure…next Sunday come back for the update~

Thanks for continuing to listen~


C#m + Bm11 = 24

Sounds like a math equation but, it’s not.  Or at least not in my head.

It’s the progression of two newly learned chords that when played together…gave off sounds that inspired the lyrics to a song called “24”.  One of the fans (who progressed from Jango to Facebook – thanks Roy 🙂 had asked me the other day if these chords I note are random or do I plan to use them in a song.  Good question and the answer is I randomly learn chords and sometimes they just become a song like with well like with most of my songs.  I never was one for following recipes.  The lyrics for the most part come second but, sometimes they come with a sound in my head and I try to find the chords to fit (which is muuuch harder).  One thing I should say about the lyrics to the song is that very few are written about one person (with the exception of the ones named for the actual people helloo….Abby, Polly, David, Bernadette).  A person will probably spark it but, then other images tie in that have a common theme with them.  Oh now I’m sounding all analytical which is boring as hell so, on with the story…

I got so inspired that I went to the kitchen drawer and finally opened the pack of batteries I bought for the mini recorder, popped em in, pressed the red button and played it over and over until I could nearly commit it to memory.  That’s always a funny thing to me because if I’m writing the lyrics…shouldn’t I remember them?  Especially when they come from the heart but, nope.  My brain only remembers bits and pieces of anything unless I repeat it over and over and commit it to memory.

Second song of 2010 and I like it so much I’m going to bump one from the list of 12 and put it up there.

Ironic moment…today I took a short break and stopped home to pick up my forgotten lunch and was like, well the guitar is there so why not practice the song once more before heading back out the door?   When I was finished, I did this thing I do…kind of like a high 5 “YES!” only it’s more like low 5’ing the guitar, then I kind of hug (yes…I know) Seagull and set him down, give out a contented sigh and say “yup…I LIKE this one”.  Just seconds after setting him down the phone rings and it’s the person who inspired the song (or as my eldest brother would call it, my “muse”).  Unexpected call, interesting timing.  I think I even said “were your ears burning?”.  Then realized…this person doesn’t even know I write music and maybe I shouldn’t be saying “hey…aside from biz talk…BTW c# minor, bm11 and you inspired me to write a song the other day”.  Awwwkwaaaard~   Funnier part was the question posed to me during the call “Is technology all you think about?”  Ha~  Not even close.  I like it.  I respect it but,  I looooove music.  So, when I responded with “I am a woman obsessed” we all know what I was really thinking about now don’t we…


So, I made my excuses for the “ears” comment, finished the call, grabbed my salad etc and smiled back at Seagull as I headed out the door and back to work.

Me n Seagull…we’re really liking 2010 and hoping it’s full of great moments for you all too~

Thanks for listening~


Weekend update and the clicking into place…

Am sitting here at the kitchen counter sipping my mimosa and staring down my laundry and thinking I’d much rather write to you all, so here I am 🙂

What a great weekend~

Friday night was about hanging out here at studio and catching up with a friend and I just love those moments.  It is music in a way.  The lyrical form that conversations take.  She’s a really good soul and so easy to just be around that I find myself wanting to write the moment she leaves because I’m in such a good and open place.

Saturday I was a total sloth and just hung out at the studio and practiced and puttered about and mostly just worked on some old songs that I used to love listening to.  Started working on one about the house on the hill but, I think that one is months if not years in the making.  While I was waiting for friends to show, I went out in the courtyard for a cig and ran into a neighbor (one I’d seen lugging a guitar around) and he finally introduced himself and his girlfriend (who happened to have the same first name of one of my favorite people so I instantly liked her of course).  I blurted out “are you the guitarist?  Because I need help with F# minor”.  Yes…I did.  Not, “good to meet you”.  That would be conventional which, I’m not.  He informed me he’s just learning as well but googles everything so we made soft plans to hang out in the courtyard one day and compare notes/chords.  I told him I was a song writer.  It felt weird saying it so I added “accidental”.  I’m working on it.  But, its hard when you know there are so many people out there with far better skills and talent.  Anyway…you wont’ be surprised to know I totally blanked on his name so now I have to go through the awkward moment of asking him again when we meet up.  Fek.

Saturday night was the big deal.  A friend “Tim Foley” (I’ve mentioned him before – see Halloween) has a band called “Skelpin” and they were having a CD release party at Hensley’s.  This is the place that’s owned by the guy in “Flogging Molly”,  Matt Hensley.   Very cool human being.  Good soul and great musician.  I don’t know him personally.  He’s friends of good friends.  So, I’ve been around him and been a social retard in front of him but, never really clicked with him in any way.  Still, he’s the kind of person that makes everyone feel welcome.

So, Jen.  She and her finance joined on the drive up to Carlsbad.  I’ve told her about my friends and about Tim and Skelpin and she genuinely wanted to be part of it.  I introduced them to the group and when we got to Anne, Jen shouted “Oh…Baby!”  LOL.  Anne…like it or not, you’re famous~

On the ride back they both agreed the music was fantastic and that it was a great night out.  During…I planted myself in front of the crowd and directly in front of Tim.  He’s a great musician, no doubt but, beyond that this guy is a great performer.  He knows how to work the crowd and give a great performance.  If he wasn’t so out of reach, I’d ask him to teach me a thing or two about stage presence but, that star is already on the rise and before we know it he (and his group) will only visible from afar.  Still, last night…I watched, I learned and I soaked in every detail.

I found Bren in the crowd and we hugged and I pointed out Jen.  The cool thing was when I walked back to Jen she said “Where’s Bren??”  So I pointed back and her face lit up as she waved to her.  I don’t know why but, I just loved seeing those two connect.  From the moment I got to know Jen I could picture sitting around with these women all thoroughly enjoying each other’s company.   That’s the plus side of being an intuitive and I sooo love that part 🙂

At one point I noticed Serg just to my right was smiling at me…coy smile, lovely smile.  We hugged and he said something like “one day soon…your CD release party”.  I melted…then piped up “only if 96 picks up sticks”.  That’s his nickname and he’s a natural drummer.  He drummed at the resort throughout the summer/fall (on the flower pot).  Anne got him lessons for his bday recently.   I don’t care if he only learns one song.  Our flower pot drummer must be on stage for this event.  It wouldn’t be right without him.

11 was our curfew which I was cool with and as we were walking out they got a chance to meet face to face and Jen blurted out “I’m so glad to finally meet you, she just loves you all”.  I thought I was going to burst out in tears right then and there.  I don’t know why.  I guess it was just that I do and that it was so cool to see someone outside of the circle acknowledge it and with such genuine expression.   I hugged my friends as I left and one…the one I’d fallen out of sync with…I hugged until it clicked.  And this huge, happy sigh came from me as I walked out the door and to the car.

Today is about practice then preparing for the week ahead.   Working full time and doing this is frustrating sometimes but, the job is good and it keeps me in check.

March…I think something very interesting is going to happen in March.  Can’t put my finger on it but, I will definitely keep you posted…

Hope your weekend was/is full of great memories to look back on and as always, thanks for listening~


Even had the little ones dancing

Returning to the house on the hill…

It’s a rainy, dreary day so on my lunch break I made myself a cup of tea and stared at my screen and drifted off…I was in a car driving down a winding coastal road…I wasn’t sure where I was until I passed the old fruit stand on my right.  Boarded up for the winter with no signs of  recent life.  That’s where we got corn on the cobb for that feast on September 22nd.  What a day that was.  It was my birthday and I was in a mood to drift and it was also the day I took my house on the hill to Facebook and let my friends join in the madness and it was brilliant.  For those new to this story, I have a long standing dream of owning a house on top of a hill near the ocean.  That dream has grown from a cottage to a full blown multi-multi bedroom place with a wrap around porch,  huge trees scattered about, a recording studio just a few hundred yards south of the house and tons of trails for hiking to the north…plenty of room for fans and friends alike to gather for full day/evening/weekends of general good company, extraordinary home cooked meals and some amazing music sessions.  This is one of the those times where I cross my fingers that it’s intuition that makes me think up this stuff and not just plain escapism.

This trip is different because I haven’t been there in a long while and because today, I didn’t tell anyone I was heading up there this time.

As I wind up the long drive I’m kind of saddened by the bareness of the trees.  It seemed like yesterday there were cherry blossoms scattered everywhere.  Now just greens and drab browns.  I see the caretaker off in the distance as I pull up.  He waves but somehow knows not to approach.  I dig for the key then remember the keypad and enter the code.  The door opens like a bank vault and in I go…I pass the sunken living room and toss my bag on the L shaped couch as I move on to the dining area.  One dried daisy sits on a glass plate.  A remnant from a great day.  I open the fridge and there are still a few beers left from the last event.  I see the ones that Jorg brought and I laugh to myself.  First because I’m surprised he didn’t finish them off but, also I keep telling the caretaker to help himself but unlike us, he seems to have that part of his appetite well curbed.

I put the kettle on and make myself some spelt toast with a slab of kerrygold, take them and the mug of licorice tea over to the bay window, curl up in the soft blue plaid throw and look out onto the water.  Hoping to catch a whale but, knowing full well that even my active imagination knows they’re not there today.  I did see a hug Scooner drift by.  What they’re doing out in this drizzly weather I have no idea but, it was a magnificent sight.  Even with the blanket I was a bit chilled from the draft in the house so I grabbed the clicker on the counter a pulled a gun slinger flip click and voila…roaring fireplace blowing warm air behind me.    Even though it was mid afternoon, the sky was grey so that my eyes would revert from watching the water out there to catching the reflection of the fire behind me.

To the right of the fireplace is a corner nook with 3 seats.  A lot of our impromptu music sessions where in that room and I startled at the glimpse.  For just half a second I saw Pauly sitting there playing a mandolin like it was a fiddle.

I think now that I went there today to see if the magic was still there or if it was time to let the place go.  I know it because as soon as I typed this, the front door bell rang and before I had a chance to get up I heard the voice “hellooo…knock knock…are you sulking in the kitchen or the nook?”.  “Miche~…wasn’t the front door locked?”

She waves her hand “Well yes but, when has that ever stopped me??  Besides…I know every code in your head.  You didn’t think that would ever change…did you?”.  I laughed because it’s true.  This one can finish my sentences for me and answer a question I have even asked yet.   She sets her bag down and gets straight to the point while goes straight to the fridge, pops open the beer cap like a sailor and takes a swig “you’re not getting rid of this place, period.  This is your happy place and it will be again.  The sun will come out to fknmorrow and the trees will bloom again and people will come and you’ll build every year a new set of memories.   This is ‘your’ happy place.  It’s like no ones elses because it’s YOU.  Capiche?”  She takes another swig and I laugh through the tears  “capiche, jezus, capiche already”.  She gave me that all knowing look that I love and hate when she does but I love that someone knows me well enough to give it and its a well trusted source.  So I turn the chair to face hers and we gabbed for a bit about nothing and anything and then she got up and poured a couple of ports and set them down in the music corner (where I saw Pauly) and pointed to my guitar.   “dust if off and play me something”.   I laughed and took a drink and then settled onto the stool with seagull and we played something old, then played the silly ‘bigmouth-esque” song then something new came…I played chords that I didn’t know existed.  I couldn’t even tell you what they were but, they felt just right.  She looked at me and smiled and said “they’re chords you’ll know a year from now and you’ll be playing that song here with your friends.  Can you picture it”.  Yes, I could.   “In the meantime…enjoy this place as your little oasis.  Your escape and keep allowing it to grow.  It’s a great place.  The kind that people will want to come to and stick around.  It’ll happen.  Just keep believing in it and Rick and I are thinking of building a place just down the road so you’d better keep it because you know how picky I am about neighbors!” (it’s true, she so is).   And in a moment she was off and running again…out the door, into her car and down the winding road.  It was me and my guitar, the sound of rain against the windows and the crackling of the fireplace.

Best lunch break I’ve had in quite a while…

The Weekend update…no, really~

No…we didn’t go to Torrey Pines as planned, again…but, it was still a great weekend, really.

She showed up the night before even and we watched “Across the Universe” which I wasn’t thrilled to until I heard the first few notes.  You know I’m a big fan of the Beatles and I don’t take kindly to people trying to turn their music into Hollywood musicals but, these guyz did it right for sure.  I was totally caught up in it.  Brought up a ton of conversations until 2 in the morning before I was like…hey, we got plans, sleep time~

The next morning was slow going but it started with stop at a local cafe for real coffee and then walk to the beach.  We msgd Kevin (because he used to live in PB and thought he might know the right spot) but, what with the time zone differences we didn’t hear until way after that we’d missed the best spot ever.  Even still, we found a great place by the beach and a great server who kept us entertained and then a txt from Carrie and Brad  just after asking about the place I used to love to go to Del Mar for brunch and what are we up to…  I love those guys.  They’d yet to see my studio in PB and when I had seen them over the holidays it was in big group settings so hard to catch up.

We invited them to join us but, we knew that’s not as easy for them so let it go and went on with our day.  Michele loves football and me, not so much but, as we walked back to the studio, the sounds from the neighboring sports bars was getting to her so we compromised with “I’ll hop on the internet and you watch on my TV and then everyone’s happy”.  Game was nearly over and we were just about to head out to a company fundraiser when I got a txt “which one is yours?”.  Could it be…?  I opened the door and before I could look out, there she was standing in front of me…Carrie and OMG I think I screamed and I scared her and I hugged her so hard until I noticed her big lug of a husband to my left waiting in line so I hugged him hard and then back to her and then they hugged Michele and then…we went in and gave them the 20 second tour of my little hubble.  I can’t convey why exactly that this moment far outweighed making it to Torrey Pines yesterday…only that it meant a great deal to me that they made the trip and that we got really good time in together like back when.   With Pollyanna on the back burner now… I’m seeing things through fresh eyes and my fresh eyes were very glad to see them.

We talked about music, movies, current events, walked around the neighborhood and ordered massive junk food and just got re-connected.  It was such a good feeling.  Life just keeps pointing me to places and people that push me to do more and be more and I couldn’t be more content.  Well…I could.  I want everyone to be happy but, I’m learning that I can’t decide that for others.  We all have to find our own way but, always have one hand available for those that reach for it.

I didn’t write anything new but, I did look up a song that Bren likes and I learned it by heart.  There are others I’ve tried but, lucky me this one had chords in it I already know and a msg right for now so I played it over and over until it was committed to memory, for her.  One day, I’ll write her a song but, in the meantime…I’ll learn the ones she likes.

I woke up this morning with a burst of energy and skipped the morning coffee run and went straight to the shops.  Came home with a vacuum, drying rack for the dishes, coffee table and got to cleaning and organizing.

Felt great when it was done.  Did some work from home and even dropped in at one of the sites to take care of  a nagging issue.  I was a woman on a mission today and mission complete.

Now, it’s  time to chill to the TV, play a couple more songs then rest for the long week of work ahead.  Small steps.  That’s the trick for me.  And to stay focused on my dream.

Life is so interesting, if you let it…

Hope your weekends were just as great if not better and thanks for listening~


Beer theory goes from virtual to vicarious…

So, I just got a notice from John Shipe (my former and awesome awesome awesome guitar teacher who moved back up to Oregon – Gd only knows why).

I can’t remember if I told you this story so I’ll retrace it.  John came over for our weekly lesson last spring and brought a dog with him that he was watching for a friend who would come by to pick him near the end of our lesson.   So, we’re sitting in the backyard strumming away…guest dog is running circles around Polly till I was sure she was going to take a chunk out of the poor happy go lucky pup and I was busy trying to distract John from scales and theory with a new song.  Michele was in the house chillin (she was a frequent visitor back in the day when she opted for no TV in her home ;).  John mentions his friend is a musician as well and was sure Michele and I would go gaga for him.

Just at the end of the lesson, Ehren Ebbage (FYI this is a true story…not a beer theory moment) pulls up and comes round to the back with his girl and we all chat for a bit before they take off.  John mentions Ehren has a new CD and that he thinks its the kind of sound I’d really go for.  He offers to buy one for me but, Ehren gladly offers one up.  Ehren leaves, John leaves and Michele and I look at eachother and nearly at the same time “John’s cuter”.


Oh sht.  If you’re reading this Ehren…you know full well you’re a looker too.  John is someone we took in and we just loooove him to bits and so basically…he got to us first and we are loyal like that.

Oh sht sht.  Amy, if you’re reading this…when I say we loooooove your husband we don’t mean it in a cheap or sordid way.  We ain’t no plate stealers and we love you too~

So, they’re off and it took but a minute before the wrapping was off the CD and in the player.  I’m not sure what I expected but man oh man that man has a great voice that just resonates off your chest bone. I think I’ve hit replay on “Bury that Feeling” “Snake” and to be honest I think all but two I was hooked on and I played that CD every day for like two months.   I also emailed him to thank him and to let him know it inspired.  He wrote back a gracious and encouraging response.   The luck I have, I swear.  All these great teachers just keep sailing in and out of the room.  It’s brilliant.

Ok…now for the vicarous beer theory….

The notice was that John and Ehren are going to play together in Seattle on January 24th.  I can’t go.  Can’t go up there until end of February but, I sent a post to all my Seattle friends to save the date and then I thought…wouldn’t it be cool if I could talk one of em into going…having a beer with them on break and blogging about it?  So, Mer….what de ye think?

Cool idea huh?

She won’t be thrilled about the 9pm on a Sunday night part but, she does love being part of a good story…..

John Shipe

Ehren Ebbage

new chord leads to a different expression

C# minor….that’s right baby~


Sorry, I’m a bit giddy this morning and seriously can’t put my finger on it except last night I was on chordie.com, looking up an old song that was in my head…Psychedelic Furs…”Ghost in you”…(I’m such an 80’s girl) and no matter how far up the neck I went with that capo it was just too low for me (and started to make the guitar sound like a ukulele)  but what was funny is that until C# minor was  mentioned to me I never really saw it but, the first song I go to last night had it right there in black and white.   So, I braved it and it sounded really cool (and far easier to play than f’n F# minor).

I love the song (though I think maybe all these years I had the words wrong but, that’s ok…I like the words I heard).  Something about it just puts me in a dreamy place.  Reminds me of my life back in Honolulu…sitting on the beach and journaling about whatever far off thoughts were in my head and about “The Wave” which was this v cool ‘new wave’ dance club we used to hang out at like it was our home and the condo was just a place to crash.  I remember meeting this guy…can’t remember his name (do you Miyuki?) that was a helicopter pilot and totally took us little birds under his wing and gave us a series of kind of stern lectures on the music that we so should know and the stories behind the artists.  I learned a ton about music from that genre from him.  He’s was a bit off the wall, manic crazy but, he was a good soul for sure.  I remember….

Anyway, like most songs written by these guys (Mat Kearney, Alexi Murdoch, David Gray, James Taylor, John Shipe, Ehren Ebbage, and the like),  I can picture singing with them…a virtual duet.  Then, I decided to change it a bit…from “a man in my shoes runs a light”  to “a man in your shoes runs a light”  and follow it from there.  Took on a whole different meaning and melodic trail that was more ehm…”me”.   Was really cool~

Then I went back to working on “Turn the Page” and found it fit right in there like a glove.  Strange how things just tie into each other like that.

Heard from my Pop the other day.  He was checking in to see if I’d booked my ticket yet and suggested we have a sit down when I come home so he can understand more fully how I’m writing these songs and where I want to go with this.  I love that guy.  Everyone should have a dad like him.  I’d lend him out but, on this one, I’m too selfish to share (other than virtually).  Ok, maybe I’d be open to cloning…but I think he might have to have a say in that~

Ok, back to the 8-5.

Tomorrow is Friday….and then comes Saturday….hrmmmmm anyone’s guess if this will be the Saturday we get it right~

fingers crossed and thanks for listening~

ps: 3 new fans on Jango today, which brings it to 345….wooooohooooo~

op, now 4~

Julie & Julia n me…

So,  I watched it last night (and the night before).  Figured if I’m going to refer to a film in my blog I should probably have at least seen it and like I said before, when I feel compelled to watch a film there’s usually a message or two waiting there in it for me.  I felt that little click of recognition go off in my head several times during the film~

One line that sticks out is “Julia Child wasn’t always Julia Child”.    They all started somewhere.  I was pretty surprised to find it took her over eight years to write and get her cookbook published (do any of you remember her?  I do.  I can picture my mom ironing while keeping one eye on me and the other on Julia.  I thought she was so funny like a cartoon character).  I laughed when I heard that line because I feel like I’m soooo far behind in my goals and frustrated that I’m not farther along by now and yet…the logical side of my brain (the far far smaller side) recognized I’ve only been doing this for like just over a year.  As Michele would say “Slow your roll kid…slow your roll”.  I don’t care about time lines so much as I don’t like to wait.  Never been good at waiting when I can picture what lies ahead.

Another part was Julie…she needed a goal and an adventure and it started out that way and ended that way but, somewhere in the middle she got a bit lost. I actually put my hand to my mouth.  LOL  Holy sht.  I’m not that dramatic (gd I hope), I mean I don’t remember lying on the floor sobbing because I couldn’t get a chord right but yeah, there were floodgate moments as you realize the lyrics that are coming out of you are a story you didn’t recognize until they all spill out onto the page (or out of your mouth).  Pollyanna took some serious kicks to the head this past year.  But, that’s what she gets for trying to force her unrealistically bright n shiny “all for one and one for all” view on the world.  You can only sweep so much stuff under a rug before it becomes an impassable mound and then it’s time to roll up the sleeves and get out the shop vac.  And then pick up the pen and go at it again from a different angle… fresher perspective.

I sat down to “Believe” (song #12) the other night.  Something wasn’t sitting right with me.  It was missing something…and then it came and as I wrote it down this calm washed over me and when I played it, I felt…oh hell, what’s the word…well, kind of peaceful…like the pen had finally reached the end that created a full circle.  Pollyanna resisted (of course) but, I stood my ground and now it really feels like the kind of song I promised.

Believe?  Yes.    Sit and watch and wait for the pot to boil?  Nooooo~

God, this is all making me very very hungry~

Last night another one started coming and already has a name, “this one”…it’s funny, not funny like haha but more like british humor funny…like Morrisey’s “Big mouth”.  If there were ever to be a CD III?  I’d put it on there.  But, CD II’s dance card is officially full and my lunch break is officially over so back to it~

Tonite…I try out C#minor (I just clapped at the screen forgetting my office is all glass facing a courtyard full of serious business people who must think I’m a lunatic).

Thanks for the C#m suggestion Bort~

And thanks to all of you for listening~


The “Baby” song and the impatient writer

I love this song and I love the people that inspired me to write it~

I know I’ll record it one day but, it’s too good to wait.

I’d rather have an imperfect video of it out there than the world wait to hear it after its been mixed and pitch fixed and perfected.


This is Elway…

and then there were three in the wolf pack...

Weekend update and the starting of new rituals…

It’s Sunday and I’m wiped again but, in a good way (at least I think).

Friday was about meeting up with co-workers after a long week for a beer and a vent.  The place we went to is a local fav, casual and full of character.  Outside the french doors I saw this little dog…kind of like an “Eddie” dog from Frasier only bigger whiskers and well, there was just something about him that had me mesmerized.  I should’ve thought to take a pic of him for you all.  If I see him again, I promise I will~

Anyway, someone came up with a black lab and tied him near the little one.  labby was aggressive and really had me worried he’d take a chomp out of little one and was even more stressed that no one else seemed to notice his potential peril but, little one wasn’t afraid.  He just kept whipping his tail back and forth like it was motorized (I could hear the buz of the fiddle and the piccolos playing) and smiling up at the big dog and softly yapping at him.  It was so endearing.  When that didn’t work he sort of shrugged and moved farther away and just kept a watchful eye on the front door of the joint waiting for his master to appear (tail wagging the whole time).

When we left, I b-lined for him…patted him and told him what a great soul he was.  Another customer that was out front having a smoke when he made a comment about little one that sparked a conversation and you know that music that happens in the film where two people just found a connection?  Heard it, right then as we both discovered each was thinking the same thing earlier and ready to pounce to the little one’s rescue if  needed.  It was a nice moment of like minds connecting.  But, time moves on and so we did.  No name, no pics just a moment in my head.

My kitchen seems to be the grounding spot these days for great conversations.  I was introduced to some new music and we sang at the top of our lungs  to Glee (yes…I did say Glee and it was totally fun so there) and hellooo…..this girl’s been hiding a little known fact that she can sing~  It was really fun to sing along to the music together 🙂

I tried to practice after she left but, was too beat so gave it and myself a rest.  Saturday, had to work for a few hours then had a standing plan to hike Torrey Pines with Michele and possibly Jen.    Torrey Pines to me is the ultimate place to re-group.  I can remember once years back being so torn up about something and headed there.  By the time I got to the top and looked out over the ocean I’d totally forgotten what I was so twisted up about.  It’s that powerful of a place.  At least, it is for me.  We had made a pact to hike it on New Years day but, we were both too wiped to.  So this weekend was the make up for it hike.  What is that my mom would say?  “Life is what happens when you’re making plans”.  Through a series of mishaps we ended up at the top of the road from there and with only 5 minutes to wander.  Another re-grouping plan fallen by the wayside.  So, off we went to the theatre to catch “Leap Year”.  I’m not a film critic so I won’t say much (other than American’s shouldn’t be allowed to write films about Europe without native euro supervision)  but, I’m a big believer that if I’m drawn to see a film then there must be a message waiting for me within it.   There were a couple of em.  Wasn’t as profound as I was hoping for and yet it was still…

An older Italian couple sharing their wisdom saying “it’s all in the kiss…every kiss should be like your first and your last”.  Viva Italia 🙂

Matthew Goode is a brilliant actor~  Yes, there’s a message within that.  I totally fell for the character.  I’m such a sucker for his type.  Michele and I decided that would be our first big fight was over who got to marry him (I really am 12 beneath it all, I keep trying to tell you guyz~).  We also decided that we’d look up all the other films he’s been in just so we can ooh and aw over him.  Well…here’s the message.  The guy that I fell for on that screen?  Is just a reflection of my imagination.  A celluloid mirage.  I looked up his other films and found that I had already seen three of em and didn’t even recognize him in this one.  A: that’s a brilliant actor who can appear so differently in each film, B: The man on the screen is no more the character we saw than he is the supervillain in Watchmen.  You know we do it.  Just about everyone does where you believe that person exists and if you were to meet the actor that you’re so nuts about in a movie you’d (well I’d) be like…”that great babe but, could you wear what you wore in that scene from that movie?  Oh and can you stop shaving and keep your hair just that color and what do you mean you don’t cook?  I saw you cook a perfect Coq Au Vin right there on film it was…”

Nutz?  Yes.  But, most of us do it.  We get an idea in our head about what someone (we may never had even met) is like and have a hard time seeing them in any other way.  I think that’s why I write the way that I do.  I don’t want any delusions out there that I’m anything other than what I am.  An incredibly imperfect person who tries for the better but, doesn’t always reach it.  Who for the most part, prefers the world inside her head to the joining in on other’s.  One who is waking up from a  deep sleep and saying “why the hell not?” and forging ahead.  And I know this journey isn’t exclusive to me.  It’s happening because I got up but, you all keep encouraging me to keep moving.  So, I want to share how the music gets created which means creating a micro viewing window into the wacky world that is my brain.

There were a couple more that seem to be creeping up on me but, I’ll save em for another time…

I asked Michele last night over sushi (it’s a ritual I have absolutely no interest in changing) “Do you think we’ll get it right next week…the Torrey Pines thing?”  She just waved her hand and said “We’ll get it right when we’re meant to get it right….if not next week then the following…who cares how long it takes as long as we’re tryin”.

And there you have the new ritual…trying weekly to get there.

More progress on the possibility of recording one song while up in Seattle but, don’t want to jinx it or get too ahead of myself so, fingers crossed and I’ll keep you posted the moment it’s solid~

Thanks as always for listening~