So, keeping with the beer theory tradition, I called upon Ehren Ebbage, James Taylor (who I still to this day have a mad crush on) and Robert Smith (from ‘The Cure’ who I still secretly keep a poster of in my parents’ basement closet) and instead of that cool old pub we decided to get some sun and sat out on the balcony of this cool South American place above Pike Place Market (I flew back home for this one and well worth it). We all agreed the fresh aire was good and the sun, especially for Robert who looked like that paste we used back in kindergarten…oy. Anyway…I asked em “how do you sing from the heart with passion and not go insane?”
They all laughed and James said “welcome to the club one”. Apparently, it’s not an easy task. I couldn’t help it, I giggled like a 6 year old. I was afraid I was going about this all wrong but apparently, that is what it’s about. “It’s a trade off luv” said Robert (at least I think that’s what he said…he really mumbles a lot). Something like “can’t make something someone would want to shoot or kiss you over if you don’t feel it yourself”. At least I think that’s what it was cuz the others tilted their heads as he spoke and then nodded whole heartedly in agreement.
I told them about my dream about the maze and asked if they’d had something similar (still unsure of my grounding here) and Ehren piped up and told me it was all part of it. Especially, if you bury something for a long time and people aren’t used to seeing or hearing this side of you. You may be sensing resistance from them and yourself and some just plain won’t like it but, don’t be fooled or dissuaded. If your gut is telling you to move forward then keep going. “There’s nothing worse than regret or waking up at 60 and realizing you just spent most of your life living someone else’s and not your own”. Wow….I was about to hug them all when I heard “Or worse, when you’re 64”. I looked up and no sht, there he was….Paul McCartney. I don’t know how he heard about the ‘buy my favorite musicians a drink’ moments but, I was so shocked and more than glad to see him~ I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sung his songs over and over and over again when half the time I couldn’t tell what the hell the lyrics were. Didn’t matter. Just loved the sound of his voice. We pulled up an extra chair and I immediately asked what the name of that song was I have stuck in my head so often but, after humming a few bars “no sign of love behind the tears, cried for no one…a love that should have lasted years”, he laughed and said “I dunno, google it…and besides we’re here to talk about something else”.
Suddenly, I felt an intervention coming on. “I’ve only got a moment” he says “So, I won’t waste it”. I look over at James who’s looking knowingly at him like he knew exactly what was coming…
“Ehm, ok….” I said as I braced myself for it. “Do you love music?” “Yes” “I mean do you wake up breathing it in, is it in your head as you drive to work and during and on the way home and in the shower and do you feel it in the soundtracks when you’re watching a film or tv and when you’re drifting off to sleep?” “YES” I shouted and immediately shrank from the reactions by the other tables half expecting someone to say “I’ll have what she’s having”. Then, he took me by the hands firmly, looked me straight in the eye (a little too intently for my comfort) and said “then stop you’re whining you silly bird and get on with it. Don’t worry about the downloads or the right chords, how people will react to you or how you look in the mirror, just get up off your patch of grass and keep going because you’re too far into the maze now and it’ll destroy you if you walk away without ever knowing where it led to. Just keep your head down, your heart in it and the rest will fall into place, trust us”. Then he kissed me on the forehead, did a fake whack on it, turned to the others, hugged them and climbed down the spiral staircase and out of sight.
Which is exactly what I said to the rest and James just lifted his hand like ‘talk to it’ with a brotherly but, wry smile on his face. Then, the rest of em got up one by one and did the very same thing…kiss then a semi whack and down the spiral staircase and out of sight…but, definitely not out of mind…
So, I paid the bill, walked down the staircase and popped into that cool little market just there to get my favorite yellow Peruvian hot sauce (that I can’t seem to find anywhere else) and headed back to San Diego cuz I’ve gotta work tomorrow and my guitars are there and apparently, I need to get back to practicing and the project~
Which I will do the moment I press send, promise.
Thanks for listening,