More Beer or Sangria…

So, keeping with the beer theory tradition, I called upon  Ehren Ebbage, James Taylor (who I still to this day have a mad crush on) and Robert Smith (from ‘The Cure’ who I still secretly keep a poster of in my parents’ basement closet) and instead of that cool old pub we decided to get some sun and sat out on the balcony of this cool South American place above Pike Place Market (I flew back home for this one and well worth it).  We all agreed the fresh aire was good and the sun, especially for Robert who looked like that paste we used back in kindergarten…oy.  Anyway…I asked em “how do you sing from the heart with passion and not go insane?”

They all laughed and James said “welcome to the club one”.  Apparently, it’s not an easy task.  I couldn’t help it, I giggled like a 6 year old.  I was afraid I was going about this all wrong but apparently, that is what it’s about.  “It’s a trade off luv” said Robert (at least I think that’s what he said…he really mumbles a lot).  Something like “can’t make something someone would want to shoot or kiss you over if you don’t feel it yourself”.  At least I think that’s what it was cuz the others tilted their heads as he spoke and then nodded whole heartedly in agreement. 

I told them about my dream about the maze and asked if they’d had something similar (still unsure of my grounding here) and Ehren piped up and told me it was all part of it.  Especially, if you bury something for a long time and people aren’t used to seeing or hearing this side of you.  You may be sensing resistance from them and yourself and some just plain won’t like it but, don’t be fooled or dissuaded.  If your gut is telling you to move forward then keep going.  “There’s nothing worse than regret or waking up at 60 and realizing you just spent most of your life living someone else’s and not your own”.  Wow….I was about to hug them all when I heard “Or worse, when you’re 64”.  I looked up and no sht, there he was….Paul McCartney.  I don’t know how he heard about the ‘buy my favorite musicians a drink’ moments but, I was so shocked and more than glad to see him~   I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sung his songs over and over and over again when half the time I couldn’t tell what the hell the lyrics were.  Didn’t matter.  Just loved the sound of his voice.  We pulled up an extra chair and I immediately asked what the name of that song was I have stuck in my head so often but, after humming a few bars “no sign of love behind the tears, cried for no one…a love that should have lasted years”, he laughed and said “I dunno, google it…and besides we’re here to talk about something else”.

Suddenly, I felt an intervention coming on.  “I’ve only got a moment” he says “So, I won’t waste it”.  I look over at James who’s looking knowingly at him like he knew exactly what was coming…

“Ehm, ok….” I said as I braced myself for it.  “Do you love music?”  “Yes”  “I mean do you wake up breathing it in, is it in your head as you drive to work and during and on the way home and in the shower and do you feel it in the soundtracks when you’re watching a film or tv and when you’re drifting off to sleep?”  “YES” I shouted and immediately shrank from the reactions by the other tables half expecting someone to say “I’ll have what she’s having”.  Then, he took me by the hands firmly, looked me straight in the eye (a little too intently for my comfort) and said “then stop you’re whining you silly bird and get on with it.  Don’t worry about the downloads or the right chords, how people will react to you or how you look in the mirror, just get up off your patch of grass and keep going because you’re too far into the maze now and it’ll destroy you if you walk away without ever knowing where it led to.  Just keep your head down, your heart in it and the rest will fall into place, trust us”.  Then he kissed me on the forehead, did a fake whack on it, turned to the others, hugged them and climbed down the spiral staircase and out of sight.


Which is exactly what I said to the rest and James just lifted his hand like ‘talk to it’ with a brotherly but, wry smile on his face.  Then, the rest of em got up one by one and did the very same thing…kiss then a semi whack and down the spiral staircase and out of sight…but, definitely not out of mind…

So, I paid the bill, walked down the staircase and popped into that cool little market just there to get my favorite yellow Peruvian hot sauce (that I can’t seem to find anywhere else) and headed back to San Diego cuz I’ve gotta work tomorrow and my guitars are there and apparently, I need to get back to practicing and the project~

Which I will do the moment I press send, promise.

Thanks for listening,


The Weekend Report and song #9…

You ever dreamt you were in a maze and at first it’s really cool because you have no idea what’s on the next turn but you have a strong sense that if you can make it to the end there’s something extraordinary and indescribable waiting for you there?  And you get this great rush when you realize the actions you’re taking seem to effortlessly open up another level and another until you can almost see, hear and smell what lies ahead and its gourmet… you get so caught up in all of it that you know you just have to make it to the center at nearly all costs.  Then mid way through you keep making turns that run into dead ends…wall after wall after bloody fkn wall till you reach the point of frustration that you want to say to yourself  “fk reaching that ultimate epi center cuz if I hit just one more wall then I’m going to punch my way through it and out of the stupid gdamnd maze and just keep stomping off until there’s not even a glimpse of a glimpse of it left?

I hope the answer is an emphatic “No” because its a really really sucky dream.

John, you never warned me about this when you said I’d caught the bug…I’m sure I would’ve handed the guitar back and opted for horseback riding lessons instead.

Oh…don’t pay too much mind to me.  It’s just, this whole project is about opening up, digging deep and creating/sharing music from the heart.  Well, now my heart’s wiiiide open and it’s really missing its invisishield and filter.  Powerful thing invisishields…they protect your heart like a contact lens protects the eye.  Nearly unseen but can block out even the most minute contaminants.

Ok, so on to progress of the weekend.  I was working on that song in my head “This Time Around” and Ryan was doing some writing next to me.  I told him how the lyrics weren’t quite coming but, I could picture the story in my head just like before.  He had some that seemed similar but, different.  So, when he was done I read his.  Different song for sure.  The more I read over it the more I felt it.  He was looking for the chords (and his arm is in a sling) so I took a crack at it but,  nothing coming.  I’ve learned to sleep on it if that happens and sure enough before brunch on Sunday it started coming to me so I grabbed my recorder and headed around the side of the house so as not to disturb (ok to hide), put my chair up against the gate and on the little side table in front of me, I put his journal, some stuff to weigh it down so the wind wouldn’t get to it and pressed record.

It took a few (or more) tries or so before I felt good enough about it to have him listen (with the disclaimer of course that noooo worries if these chords or the melody wasn’t what he pictured).  I nervously (cuz I lied) smoked my cig at the table (outdoor, I’d never smoke in the house, geez) while he sat on the circle chair a ways away and I just focused on Michele who was talking to someone in NY in the most entertainingly animated way while walking along the edges of the pool.  I remember that I kept putting the cig out over and over and running it in circles in the ash tray afraid to get up and make eye contact with Red in case I’d see the dreaded cringe.  He smiled and gave genuine approval and then it was sunglasses indoor time again.  Just like it is as I’m writing this.   I swear to god the people I work with must think I’m an emotional train wreck.  And well…they wouldn’t be far off these days (note to self…must find happy go lucky me again for M-F job’s sake).

This morning when I awoke at 3:30 from the SF’n dream (again) I really thought I’d give in to the wall and started digging around for my boots but, my father didn’t raise a quitter so I’ll just sit still here for few days on this little green patch and re-think it all before taking another step in any direction…and maybe imagine that what’s in the epi center is a really really nice long and ultra comfy sleep that only really good dreams are allowed into or possibly and endless supply of dark chocolate and blackberry gelato, that would be nice too…

Anyway, thanks for listening as always.


PS:  Red, I hope they’ll meet too, I know they will…

Facebook and the Cottage Intertwine…

So, Tuesday was my birthday.  And though I don’t discuss age, I will say I’m old enough now where if someone asks “how old are you?” “F off” tends to roll right off the tongue.  Now add this to the pile…I was also working on my birthday because I’m an idiot and thought Wednesday was my birthday and requested it off and to make it worse I was too proud to admit I was an idiot to change the day off and so there I was,  at work with meetings ahead. 

So, I did what I normally do when I don’t want to deal and I went to my happy place…the cottage by the sea and this time some of my friends on Facebook came over.  I’m loving this house more and more with each passing day dream…


Ali Gilmore is sitting on the west side of the porch, soy cappuccino in hand, listening to the breeze weave its way through the trees and watching the whales glide by…perfect day.

Tue at 9:07am

Lisa DuJat, Perrin Gilmore, Meredith Letts and 2 others like this.

Charm Walker


Tue at 9:09am 

Brad Rehn

Happy Birthday Ali G! Have a wonderful day.

Tue at 9:11am   

Carrie Welsh Rehn

Wait, where are you? Is that your work environment?

Tue at 9:19am 


Ian B Cunningham

Happy Birthday my equinox sister!

Tue at 9:24am


Ali Gilmore

Carrie: I’m inside my head and I’m not leaving there until 5pm. It’s gorgeous. Come on over. We’re putting on another kettle and slicing some caraway havarti to go on the sprouted grain bread we made last night.

Tue at 9:35am   

Ali Gilmore

Happy Birthday EQ brother~

Tue at 9:45am 


Ali Gilmore

Carrie, on your way over, can you stop and pick up some peaches at the farmers market? Its just a few blocks before the turnoff to our road…

Tue at 9:50am 

Carrie Welsh Rehn

Sigh…. I like this imaginary world…

Tue at 9:54am 


Ali Gilmore

Charm, you think you n Skye and Dawn could get away for lunch? There’s plenty to go around 🙂

Tue at 9:59am 


Meredith Letts

I’ll bring a bottle of wine =)

Tue at 10:00am 


Ali Gilmore

brilliant Mere and you know we’re just waiting to see what you and Robert whip up with those peaches…

Tue at 10:06am


Jamie Lee

Lunch is soon, but if anyone is hungry right now…there are some biscuits fresh out of the oven, in the kitchen, on the wooden farmhouse table…the one with the jar of daisies sitting on it….please help yourselves.

Tue at 10:07am 


Ali Gilmore

Joe, bring that film making friend of yours. I think this day will be worth capturing~

Tue at 10:09am 


Ali Gilmore

Cool. Saysha missed the turnoff and in the next town over, distracted by for sale sign at the artisan bakery…

Tue at 10:13am 


Ali Gilmore

am heading off for a trail walk if anyone wants to join….back in an hour or so with berries

Tue at 10:15am


Jo Ho

had no idea girl. happy birthday……..

Tue at 10:19am 


Jamie Lee

I’m right behind you… basket from the front closet in hand…

Tue at 10:21am


Ali Gilmore

oh before I head out, Mere can you get a crate of peaches? Just tell em to put it on my account. Good thing Germ and Ryan built those benches…think we’re going need them all around the porch today 🙂

Tue at 10:30am 


Meredith Letts

Sure – 1 crate of SC peaches coming up. Peach muffins, peach cobbler, and fresh peach margaritas on the way!

Tue at 10:38am 


Brad Rehn

If you need us, Carrie and I are napping in the hammock out back.

Tue at 11:05am 


Ali Gilmore

Aw cool 🙂 Jorg :)) take these berries and bring em in the kitchen will ya. Beers in the fridge, help yourself. Coolest thing on the walk…Jen joined up with us and there was this really really annoying blackbird squawking. Deafening it was. Then Jen pulled out a sling shot and bam, knocked it right off the tree. LOL Good going Jen.

Tue at 12:19pm


Ali Gilmore

Oh hey, the boats are coming in. Heading down to the beach to the pier to check out today’s catch. Grabbing some Salmon and mussels for tonite. Any other requests?

Tue at 12:21pm 


Jen Lilly

I’m pretty much the best at sling shots.

Tue at 12:25pm


Brad Rehn

Crab with old bay seasoning, hot corn on the cob and ice cold beer…ya baby!

Tue at 1:02pm

Ali Gilmore

Nat is picking up corn at the market on her way up…she’s not here yet?? We got cases and cases of ice cold beer in the coolers aaaaalll around the house, just help yourself 🙂 old bay seasoning…in the kitchen spice rack on the island and missed the call for crab but, Charlie said he’d bring some up (and any other missed requests) from the boat by 4 🙂

then end?


P.S.  I just noticed it this time through…thanks for the daisies Jaim and for remembering they are totally my favorite. 

The thing about reviews…

is they can really encourage you and then WHAMOO a bad comes along and you’re like Whrrrr (sounds of breaks screeching to a halt)??

Today I got not my first negative review (I got a “make it stop” and yet she added herself as one who likes the music and a “I don’t like them” from one who listened to one of the 4 songs and maybe assumed they’d all be the same) but my first in your face ‘you should be ashamed’ your song bites kind of review.  Like I could literally see the spit flying from this one’s mouth as he slammed his fingers on the keyboard and yelled it out at the screen.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh~


Why am I laughing?  Because the songs are from my heart and if they effect someone emotionally (good or bad) then they did what they’re meant to.  I’d rather write songs that make people feel hopeful or great about everything but, what makes one person feel hopeful may piss another one off and how.  I think that’s especially true for ‘No’.

That, and I am taking into account that this is someone who well…seems to get a rush out of shouting at shadows and with a temperament like that, quite possibly didn’t exactly feel comfortable with some of the lyrics.  Maybe they hit just a little too close to home.  I figure there’s got to be more than one arshole out there that knows there’s someone (or more)  listening to this song, hitting replay a dozen times or so and thinking of them.

Plus, don’t get me wrong.  I’ve been writing songs for a whole 11 months now so I’m not deluding myself in thinking they’re savvy enough to compare to those artists they’ve placed me next to.  That, and I’ve known from the start neither my brain nor my heart is designed to write songs for the masses.  I think it’s a good first try and I know I can do better. I’m working on it every day.  No matter what though, they’ll sound like me.  I won’t stray from that even if it means only one person in a million would like it.

So, yes, I’d say that was the best ‘worst’ review I’ve received by far and it has totally  inspired me to push myself even harder and move full steam ahead~

The David Song update

So, its been a while since I checked it but, took an early lunch and went wait…North and South Dakota used to be grey…

As of September 25, 2009

As of September 25, 2009

Compared to:

As of September 10th, 2009

As of September 10th, 2009

Then it hit me, we’ve gained: North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, New Mexico, Utah, Michigan, Alabama, South Carolina, ohhh and is that Maryland I see?

Nine more states down and just 12 to go…

Holy crp this is so cool~

Thanks for playing you guyz and keep em coming~

Maybe all we need to know about ourselves really is…

on our Kindergarten report cards.   

On my dad’s 80th bday weekend, he presented us each with an album of memories of his life and then a folder containing artifacts from our youth.  Drawings, letters, report cards and the like.  One that stood out was my Kindergarten report card.  I read it aloud to my friends over sushi when I got back and they had a good laugh over it (too good).

I didn’t know why (until I just posted this) I found myself digging it up yesterday and reading it over again.  Kind of surreal to see it there in black and (off) white.  A sort of map to the somewhat unchartered country that is me.  Kind of like time capsules they are.  And surreal to recognize that I was already who I am today back then only then, a lot less aware or concerned with details and appearances and all the other things that make us buggy as adults.

I scanned it for you all to see.

Aren’t you just a wee bit curious what you might (re) discover if you could dig up yours?



Ali is ready again to show greater interest in taking responsibility and being more independant in getting her (life’s) work done…

The Kearney Letter…

Ok, so some of you asked what I wrote in the thank you letter and I’m just dork enough to show you all. WTH.  I’ve pretty much exposed every other wacky part of my brain here so yeah…here’s what I wrote:

 So, here’s the story…

A few years back I was working as IT Director for a big, global ad/marketing agency.  The best part about it before the satellite office grew so much was that I was surrounded by either creatives getting paid for it or people of like minds that just always thought outside the box.

Saysha is one of those.  I didn’t even realize until six months into it that I never played music at work and for whatever reason I didn’t much at home either.  I was really out of touch and have no idea to this day how I got there.  She started making mix copies of music for me to play in my office to stave off the frustrations of corporate life.  DCFC, Snow Patrol among others and you.  One summer day she said “get up, we’re going to lunch”.  We walked over to the Harbor Steps and saw a band setting up just below the Mexican restaurant we were heading to.  Amazingly, we got a seat right at the edge of balcony and could see the guy below.  She just smiled and I just focused on how nice it was to take a break from the office.   Then you started playing and I was glued to it.  Not in that teeny bopper “oh my god he’s so hot” kind of way.  I mean like that part of me that used to live for music suddenly woke up from a very, very long sleep.  I can’t describe it well enough.  I’m no prolific writer.  But, I thought…If I’d affected someone in that way it would mean a lot to know.  She bought two CD’s and told me to go up there and get it signed but, I’m a bit (really) socially awkward and in certain cases I’m just not willing to risk the embarrassment at times.  

Time passed and I started listening to more and more music and pretty much wore out your CD.  Oh as a matter of fact, I used to play “I won’t back down” in my office anytime I just wanted to walk out on the corporate mess.  After the fact a lot of old work mates said they knew not to knock on my door when that song was playing and especially when I was singing along.  Oh the crappy times your music got me through…

K, the girls are saying we’re crunched for time and I have to stop but, there’s a lot more to say.  Crap.  Ehm…I have music in my life every day now and I’m far happier than I’ve ever been.  Last November, I finally after 20 years of saying I would,  grabbed a guitar and took lessons.  More of the story on the website but, from that one little seed…flourished a whole lot of creativity and better choices in my life.  I’ve written 14 songs so far and a couple with friends that are starting to wake up again too.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Wish we lived in a world when you could just pop by and join one of our jam sessions at ‘the resort’ the term of endearment for my friend David’s house which has become the centre of our creativeness. 

Oh, and I braved it and recorded some and played for my dad on his 80th birthday this last July.  It was amazing.  Then my friends put it on iTunes and and people I don’t know from places I’ve never been are telling me it means something to them.

It’s a cool life.  I may still struggle with the social awkwardness but, I’ve got some amazing friends who make me feel completely comfortable to express myself, trips falls and all.

So, long story short.  You inspired me to bring music back into my world and to create my own.  Dude, that’s a huge thing.

Thank you so much~

 ‘ali gilmore

So, here I am making brave strides.  Are you waiting to see if I end up in a mental ward, arrested for stalking or make it big before you make yours?  Life is fleeting people.  Never skimp on flavor and never ever leave your heart long on the shelf.

Thanks for listening~


The Night I Met Mat Kearney…

I still want to pronounce it “Keeerney” instead of “Kerny”  but, there it was, announced loud for me to hear…”Kerny”…so ok, I will try to say it right from here on.

Right, so the story…about a month ago, Carrie sent out a notice to all about a ‘Need to Breathe’ concert on one of the cruise boats in San Diego, sponsered by a local station.

I opted for it but, when I clicked on the link I also saw a notice for Mat Kearney playing on the same boat on September 19th which happens to be 3 days before my birthday and there were limited amount of VIP tickets available…with one you get to meet the artist of your choice, so I took it as a sign…this year I’m going to do something for my birthday I wouldn’t normally do and I reached into my wallet, pulled out my card and shelled out a hundred bucks for the VIP ticket.  Holy crap that’s a lot of money to me.  I can think of a couple other times in my life I would’ve paid and didn’t for the same reasons I hesitated this time.  But, this has been an extraordinary year and trusting my instincts has paid off in unmeasurable amounts so there you have it.  I kept the “don’t you dare lose this” ticket in plain site for the weeks to follow.  I dreamt about handing him a copy of my CD and saying “thanks for inspiring me to do this”, I dreamt of being well spoken and discussing the pronunciation of his name  “how the hell do you pronounce it anyway?”  and being the generally cheeky funny one I am (inside my head).  Two of my good friends joined in but, the VIP’s were sold out so they got general tickets and were totally cheering on the this opportunity.  We boarded the boat, got our food/drink and sat down n soaked in the atmosphere.  I stared at the wristband stapled to the envelope that said “Band – 8pm”.  Not sure what to do with it all when Nat mentioned there were most likely instructions in the envelope.  Ohhhh right…that’s right.  Be downstairs within 10 minutes of and wait to go in and meet the artist.  every few minutes I looked at the clock on my phone.  We stood in the longest line ever for the bar top deck while listening to one of the opening artists when my cell alarm buzzed…”meet mat in 15 minutes”.  “holy crap~”.  Jaim offered to go down there with me to hold my purse, teeth check and all that while Nat stood in line for the drinks.

Oh and did I mention Nat bought me the beautiful yellow blouse for the occasion?  Yes, I know how lucky I am…

An older woman, no nonsense type wearing bright yellow security jacket passed me through.  I sat at the table for a moment…total social angst welling up…reached for my cell to txt someone to climb me down the from the tree and realized I’d left it with Jaim.  Peaked out the door, no Jaim, made a panicked plea to Security woman but she just shrugged her shoulders…”I dunno where she went”.

I went back in and sat down.  A few minutes later I heard “oh, you’re friend was looking for you” and lept out of my chair.  There she was, all smiles on the other side of the door.  I got my cell and as I was about to head in, Security woman tapped my arm and asked why she wasn’t in there with me.  So, I told her how we couldn’t afford 3 VIP’s, it was my bday and they were here for moral support.  Seconds later, Jaim was waived on in and the moment Mat came out from behind the curtain she went into photographer mode.  To point he actually nodded at her and mouthed the question if they looked good.  LOL.  A few minutes later Nat walks up with drinks in hand telling us she’s only aloud to do a drop off and nods back to another security person by the door.  I’m standing in line at this point and the woman behind me says “She doesn’t have a VIP ticket?”  Yikes….”ehm no, but she’s just dropping off the drink and heading out, I swear”.  She hands me a VIP band and says her husband couldn’t make it and as long as she can get the band back, she can use it to meet Mat Kearney.  It took what seemed like a long time to get it through to our moral compass that she indeed had just been given a proper key and could stay but, it finally sank in and she popped in next to me.  When it was my turn to meet Mat I just sucked in some air and my eyes dropped.  I think I talked to his shoes for most of it (btw, nice shoes).  I forgot to be cheeky or funny and pretty did what I always do and stood there shaking and stammering like a slightly freaky individual.  I will say he was very kind.  I handed him his newest CD and asked him to sign it “to Saysha”.  He asked me how to spell and I just stood there….”that’s your name?”  “Oh, no.  I’m Ali but, Saysha introduced me to your music so she gets the CD”.  After he signed it, I handed him the one Saysha bought for me way back that is too worn to play and had him sign that for me.  Then….I handed him the Thank You card.  That’s right.  Not my CD.  Series of mishaps on that one but, more importantly I realized that no matter how good the intentions, handing him my CD was too cliche for this once in a lifetime moment.  So instead, I got the least cheesiest card I could find and then sat at my computer just before we left for the concert and told him my story and how he was a part of it.  How Saysha had dragged me out of the office to a summer series lunch concert in Seattle a few years back and he played well within ear/eye distance and that the moment he started singing I just woke up.  I’d almost forgotten at that point in my life how much music meant to me and it grabbed me right in the heart.  I think back on that day often as I’m working my way through this project.  Sometimes it takes years before you recognize just how big a message was right in front of you.

So, where was I…so, as I’m standing up there talking with him trying not to hyperventilate, I pointed out the next in line was my friend Nat and when he pointed over to Jaim, I said “oh, that’s myyy photographer”.  Yes, I really did say it.  I think he was amused by the whole thing.  Or at least I’d say from dozens of pics we got.  All of which are now posted on the Facebook Fan Page.  There was a spark about us I’m sure because we were invited to stick around and meet the other artists which we gladly accepted.  Then we went top deck and watched Mat perform and he didn’t disappoint.  The guy sings from the depths of his heart and that’s something you just can’t teach or emulate.

Ali Gilmore and Mat KearneyThank you Marsha (Security woman), thank you woman behind us and her husband for not showing, thank you Mat for giving me the chance to thank you and giving me a chance to thank Saysha and most of all, Thank you Jaim and Nat for being a part of it.

Long to short?  Best Birthday ever.



The Burn List…

So, as Jaim and I are mutually discovering all the perks and quirks of setting up a Facebook Fan page we’ve come across some cool things there, like a discussion board.  I started one today and am so caught up in the idea that I want to bring it over here too.

Question:  What’s your best excuse for not going after your dream job/life?

Gotten some good responses already and here’s what I think we should do…over the next couple weeks, each of you (come on, go for it) post your comment here or on the FB page in answer to the question.  If you want to say what the dream is, great.  If not, just the best excuse you’ve used for not reaching out for it yet.

I’m going to gather them all up, put em on paper and Jaim will record us burning them oh so ceremoniously. As in “bubye excuses, hello one step closer to a far happier collective us”.

And then, we’ll post the video for you all to witness.

Sound Korny?  Maybe.  Or maybe…it’s just madcap enough to work…

“I think we have an optimist in our midst”

“Damn straight skippy and I couldn’t want it any other way”

Imagination is far more important than Knowledge - Einstein

Song #8

‘Bridges Burned’.

This one’s from the deepest parts and for the vault till recording.

Thanks again for all the encouragement.